Pick Six  

 

Six of the NFL's best first names for your newborn son

Associated Press
If Rank is ever blessed with children, he is praying for triplets because the names are already picked out.


Athletes and celebrities, please stop it. You get enough attention already without having to subject your kids to ridiculous names. Do you think they won't get taunted enough at private school? I'm talking to you, Nicholas Cage (Kal-El), Penn Jillette (Moxie and Zolton) and Dave Dameshek (Jean Claude van Dameshek).

The latest egregiousness comes from softball gold medalist Jennie Finch and her husband, Casey Daigle, who named their second son Diesel. Yep, Diesel is the brother of Ace.

Why? Do you not get enough attention?

Now, a little bit of disclosure. If my wife and I are ever blessed with children, and we have triplets, we can name those kids after the Rat Pack. That's right, my triplets would be named Frank, Dean and Sammy Rank. But enough of this nonsense. If you want a creative name, here are some of the best first names of NFL players to inspire you.

And without further ado ...

6. Bum
After famed Oilers and Saints coach Bum Philips, this would be a fine name for a boy. Especially for my son, since he would be named in honor of all of the names that you give me in the comments section. A special aside, Bum's real name is Oail, which would be pretty cool, too.

5. QB Eagles
Naming your kid after former Eagles quarterback Randall Cunningham would be a fitting tribute. Randall is a great name. But for many of us who grew up playing Super Tecmo Bowl on Nintendo, we should probably avoid the legal hassles and go with his proper name, Eagles QB.

4. Doak
Talk about a classic, old-school name that nobody uses anymore, this is it. And if you're wondering, Doak is not a nickname; it's his middle name. Doak Walker's full name is Ewell Doak Walker Jr. And Ewell is cool, too, meaning young warrior.

3. Otto
Here is a good name with double meaning that should appeal to everybody. For the football fans in your family, they would marvel over having a young lad named after one of the greatest quarterbacks in history, Otto Graham. The younger generation could appreciate having a kid named after the cannabis-smoking bus driver from the Simpsons.

2. Merlin
Oh, there is a certain magic in this very name. All right, even me and my marginal journalistic standards are embarrassed by that last joke. Maybe I should make some sort of deal if my wife and I are blessed with quadruplets. Maybe the whole team will be named after the "Fearsome Foursome" which leads to...

1. Deacon
My brother-in-law will never admit it, but I was very close to convincing him to name my youngest nephew after the greatest player in Rams history, Deacon Jones. But crisis averted in hindsight because my first born son will have the name of Dino Deacon Rank.

Did I miss one? You can send more suggestions via Twitter, and be sure to catch the latest on the Dave Dameshek Football Program.

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