Every game during the NFL season tells a story. GIFs -- pronounced "gifs", "jifs" or "gee-oafs" -- can do the same thing. Let's explain the world of Week 5 through GIFs.
Dak Prescott's reaction here sums up the general mood of Cowboys fans after an ultra-frustrating 19-16 overtime loss to the Texans on "Sunday Night Football." The big question in Big D? Why didn't Jason Garrett go for it on 4th-and-1 in overtime? The Cowboys were on the edge of field goal range and have, in Ezekiel Elliott, arguably the best running back in football. Dallas instead opted to punt -- Garrett called it a "long" 4th-and-1 after the game -- and the Texans kicked the game-ending field goal on their ensuing possession. Jerry Jones was not thrilled about Garrett's decision-making, and it's fair to wonder if there's a limit to the owner's patience in his coach. Remember, Jerrah fired Wade Phillips midseason back in 2010. If the Cowboys continue to disappoint, Garrett's seat will keep getting hotter.
Linval Joseph was the defensive star for the Vikings on Sunday, snatching a fumble out of the air and taking it back 64 yards to the house in Minnesota's much-needed 23-21 win over the Philadelphia Eagles. Big Guy Touchdowns don't happen often, and when they do, a trip to the oxygen tank is common. Less common? Joseph's incredibly bad-ass call to break out the black shades during the recovery process. Where did those things even come from? This should become a new tradition for all Big Guy Touchdowns.
Ah, the agony and the ecstasy of being a kicker. Above you see Panthers K Graham Gano, who made history on Sunday with a 63-yard field goal to beat the Giants in Charlotte. It's the longest field goal to win a game since Tom Dempsey connected on a field goal from the same distance to win a game for the Saints in 1960. (Matt Prater's 64-yard bomb for the Broncos in 2013 stands as the NFL record.)
"I'm happy that we got a kicker like that," Cam Newton said of Gano after the game. "A wise man once told me a great quarterback is only as good as his kicker. Graham put the whole team on his back. Well, on his toe."
Well, no, that would be stupid. Still, Packers kicker Mason Crosby had a nightmare in Week 5. He missed four field goals and an extra point in Green Bay's loss to the Lions. According to ESPN, he's the first kicker to do that since Cole Ford of the Raiders in 1997. I knew you guys were itching for a nice Cole Ford deep ref. Crosby has been with the Packers since 2007, and Rodgers had his kicker's back after the game. You assume Crosby will survive this disaster -- but the pressure will be substantial next Monday night against the 49ers. I still have no idea why anyone would want to kick footballs for a living.
And now, another edition of Good Fans. Here's a Jets supporter looking positively cinematic on Sunday at the Meadowlands. I'd love to hear the conversation between JetMan and his chiropractor. "So, when did you start feeling this discomfort?" "Hmmm, probably around the time I began wearing 400 beaded necklaces around my neck for seven hours every weekend."
What do you do if you're sitting behind this guy during a game? Shouldn't there be some kind of regulations in place here? Yes, you can dress up in an elaborate and extreme manner to attend NFL games ... so long as you don't negatively impact the game experience for others seated in your vicinity. Look at that hair! There is no way the person behind him can see the field.
Are NFL players beginning to run out of ideas for touchdown celebrations? That's the first thing that came to mind as I watched Steelers wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster mimic the act of giving birth after scoring against the Falcons on Sunday. This came a little over two weeks after Jets running back Isaiah Crowell used the football to mimic a, um, intimate bathroom routine against the Browns. Have we reached the point where we are just acting out various life activities? The NFL needs someone to come into the league and shake up a stale scene. Think Nirvana wiping out hair metal in the early '90s. The touchdown celebration needs a new hero.
That's Steelers special teams coach Danny Smith going H.A.M. on what looks to be about seven pieces of Bubblicious. Danny Smith has elite jaw muscle.
Finally, does anyone else find it strange that there is no penalty for dragging a ball carrier to the turf by his hair? In addition to the obvious pain element, it looks super dangerous. From a mechanical standpoint it feels like it would be every bit as dangerous as the horse-collar tackle. To compound matters, stodgy football announcers just love to remind you how dreads tackles do not result in a penalty. "WELL, JIM, THAT WILL TEACH THOSE GLORYBOYS TO THINK TWICE DURING THEIR NEXT TRIP TO THE BARBERSHOP!" Please.
Until next week.