Each week, Dan Hanzus sifts through the pro football landscape to bring you sublime subplots of NFL life. Some of it he loves. Some he does not. Other stuff, he can't quite decide. The ATL Buzz Report.
1. No regular Joe
Joe Flacco is the highest-paid quarterback in the history of the world. Suddenly this big blue marble seems overflowing with limitless possibilities.
2. Ed & Oscar
I watched the Oscars red-carpet scene from over Ed Reed's left shoulder. I'd like to follow him everywhere as he continues his eternal search for Nia Long.
3. Say goodbye, Randy
We love Randy Moss as much as anybody, but we hope we don't see him again in an NFL uniform. He's officially in the Fat Elvis stage of a tremendous career.
4. Measuring Megatron
Titus Young says he's better than Megatron. Tyrann Mathieu says he can cover Megatron. Calvin Johnson is just adequate in the minds of the delusional.
5. Playing mind games
Oklahoma OL Lane Johnson said the Bengals tested his memory during the "weirdest" combine interview ever. Any theories how this helps protect Andy Dalton?
6. You serious, Clark?
Seriously, what's going on at the combine? An unnamed team asked Colorado tight end Nick Kasa, "Do you like girls?" It's like inappropriate speed dating.
7. Nnamdi's "me time"
There's something profoundly sad about Nnamdi Asomugha eating his lunch alone in his Range Rover. Life is like the schoolyard in so many different ways.
8. Sick of Suggs
Some people handle Super Bowl glory with grace. Other people are Terrell Suggs. Get ready for a long year of inane chatter from the dean of Ball So Hard U.
Follow Dan Hanzus on Twitter @danhanzus.