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Spoiler Alert, Week 1: Get the NFL scores of tomorrow ... today!

Happy football, everybody!

Wait, you knew it started, right? Didn't you hear? I thought everyone was tuned in to the Patriots' radio broadcast on Thursday night.

Well, if not ... too bad! This weekly piece is all about spoilers. Sure, reading it will take away any suspense on NFL Sundays, but at least you'll be able to impress your friends.

Before we get to the Week 1 scores, an annual reminder: I do NOT hate your favorite team ... even if I pick against them. You see, each game has only two participants. As a result, the odds almost require I sometimes go against your rooting interest. (If it makes you feel any better, I pick against my team on occasion. It gives me no pleasure to do so, but -- as a grownup -- I'm able to distinguish between what I want to see happen and what I think will happen.)

Anyhow -- let's start things off by flipping to the end of the 2015 novel with a look at the playoff picture:

AFC PLAYOFF SEEDINGS

NFC PLAYOFF SEEDINGS

WILD CARD ROUND

AFC
COLTS over TEXANS
STEELERS over PATRIOTS

NFC
LIONS over COWBOYS
PACKERS over FALCONS

DIVISIONAL ROUND

AFC
CHIEFS over COLTS
STEELERS over DOLPHINS

NFC
SEAHAWKS over PACKERS
LIONS over EAGLES

CHAMPIONSHIP SUNDAY

AFC
CHIEFS over STEELERS

NFC
SEAHAWKS over LIONS

SUPER BOWL 50

SEAHAWKS over CHIEFS

*

Of course, there'd be no yin without some yang ...

2016 NFL DRAFT: TOP FIVE PICKS

... but all of the above is months and months away. Let's get to the here and now, a.k.a. NFL Week 1!

WARNING: Do NOT continue reading if you don't want to know the final scores of the Week 1 games.

*

PACKERS 34
BEARS 13

R. Rodgers: 3 rec, 60 yds, 2 TDs
J. Cutler: 3 INTs

*

CHIEFS 20
TEXANS 19

J. Maclin: 15-yd TD rec
D. Hopkins: 4 rec, 80 yds, TD

*

COLTS 23
BILLS 28

F. Gore: 15 carries, 30 yds
BUF D: 8 sacks

*

DOLPHINS 26
'SKINS 22

R. Tannehill: 22-28, 325 yds, 3 TDs
D. Jackson: 70-yd TD rec

*

BROWNS 6
JETS 7

I. Crowell: 20 carries, 60 yds
R. Fitzpatrick: 3 INTs

*

PANTHERS 17
JAGS 16

J. Stewart: 40-yd TD run
T.J. Yeldon: 13 carries, 45 yds

*

SEAHAWKS 23
RAMS 20

M. Lynch: 17 carries, 90 yds, TD
T. Austin: 110 yds/scrimmage, TD

*

LIONS 35
CHARGERS 24

C. Johnson: 7 rec, 130 yds, TD
K. Allen: 6 rec, 120 yds, TD

*

SAINTS 15
CARDINALS 20

M. Ingram: 21 carries, 105 yds
C. Palmer: 18-25, 250 yds, TD, INT

*

TITANS 14
BUCCANEERS 24

M. Mariota: 15-25, 220 yds, TD, 2 INTs
J. Winston: 16-30, 250 yds, 3 TDs, 2 INTs

*

BENGALS 33
RAIDERS 27

D. Kirkpatrick: 35-yd INT TD
A Cooper: 9 rec, 100 yds

*

RAVENS 9
BRONCOS 10

J. Tucker: 3 FGs
P. Manning: 24-36, 280 yds, TD, INT

*

GIANTS 19
COWBOYS 29

O. Beckham: 7 rec, 120 yds, TD
D. McFadden: 15 carries, 80 yds

*

EAGLES 31
FALCONS 34

J. Matthews: 2 TDs
J. Jones: 2 TDs

*

VIKINGS 21
NINERS 27

A. Peterson: 25 carries, 100 yds, 2 TDs
C. Kaepernick: 2 TDs, 2 INTs; TD run

Follow Dave Dameshek on Twitter @Dameshek.