Chad Ochocinco married Evelyn Lozada on Wednesday. You weren't invited, but we now bring you the next best thing: The Miami Dolphins receiver live-tweeted his own wedding.
According to Ochocinco, the nuptials took place on a tucked-away island location, which he threatened to swim away from at one point. (Different story for a different time.)
Here's the timeline (minus some riffraff), which he shot out to 3.5 million followers: