Those prone to waves of jealousy over Tom Brady's idyllic existence should pass on this one. What's ahead can only sting.
With reports that Colts quarterback Dan Orlovsky is crashing on Donald Brown's couch, Brady is set to cut the ribbon on an $11 million, 22,000-square-foot mansion in an exclusive pocket of Los Angeles, where the Patriots' star signal-caller will spend his days with supermodel wife Gisele Bundchen and their 2-year-old son, Benjamin.
Stats on the new crib, according to The Boston Globe: Eight bedrooms, a six-car garage, a covered bridge and a lagoon-shaped swimming pool -- not to mention a butler's room.
Of course, when Brady and Bundchen tire of hand-feeding unicorns on the elaborate grounds, there's always the neighbors: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Heidi Klum are but a short walk away.
This, of course, is the high fate of a young man who rattled off three Super Bowl victories in his 20s. Off-the-field luxuries aside, he's still an intense engine of a quarterback, driven to undo the opponent.
Brady still is -- underneath the glow -- that pasty kid at the NFL Scouting Combine, ultimately passed over by team after team in the 2000 draft until the Patriots came calling.
If Brady is roaming the halls of this outrageous house before Feb. 5 and Super Bowl XLVI, he still will be a man very far from home.