Every game during the NFL season tells a story. GIFs -- pronounced "gifs", "jifs" or "gee-oafs" -- can do the same thing. Let's explain the world of Week 4 through GIFs.
Let's start by acknowledging that this is not an original composition. Last year's Eagles ran away with the award for Best TD Celebrations By A Group, and Alshon Jeffery's perfect strike in Week 12 was a masterpiece. But if we can enjoy covers in music, why can't we do the same in sports? Tajae Sharpe shows great form, and the rest of the Titans collapse to the turf like Brunswicks at Chattanooga Lanes. The only demerit? Corey Davis fails to line up with the rest of his teammates, denying us the verisimilitude of a 10-pin strike. Davis -- who went 9/161/1 in a huge Titans win -- can be excused. Meanwhile, will this up-close-and-personal homage help the sleepy Eagles regain the eye of the tiger in the celebration game? We shall see.
I'm no Belichick, but I know what I know. And when I have a running back who can do "Ninja Gaiden"-level hyper athletic s--- like this, well, I'm giving him the ball more. Bears coach Matt Nagy allotted Tarik Cohen just 21 touches in the first three weeks of the season. Cohen got 20 bites at the apple in Week 4, piling up 174 total yards and a score. This might be a guy you want to pick up in fantasy.
Most of the league is now a quarter of the way through the regular season. Bears linebacker Khalil Mack is on pace for 20 sacks and 16 forced fumbles. I don't care what the Raiders turn those first-round picks into: This is shaping up as one of the best NFL trades of the last 25 years for the Bears.
That is turr-ible, Chester Rogers. And shame on whoever came up with the idea to take the single worst aspect of soccer and bring it to American football. I feel like flopping should be reviewable. Teams can throw the red challenge flag and let Al Riveron and Co. decide who gets the 15-yard penalty. That would eliminate this insidious behavior real quick.
"It's not that I hate my grandson, it's just that I ... don't understand him."
I've come to appreciate Jerry Jones owner's box cutaways, because I understand that life is finite, and we're not going to get them forever. And once they're gone, watching Cowboys games will never be the same. While I admit there's an undeniable level of schadenfreude that comes with watching the Jones family in flames after a crushing loss, the victory celebrations offer entertainment value, as well. Here's Jerrah pretending to faint after Big D knocked off the Lions with a last-second field goal. He sells it pretty good, too. In real time, I was legit startled by his collapse. Acting!
I know this dude. Well, I don't actually know him, but I've known guys like him my whole life. He a good-natured fellow who probably owes you money and goes by a funny nickname that even his own mother recognizes. He's a tremendous cornhole player and a prodigious beer drinker. And he totally knows a guy who can get you "Sunday Night Football" tickets ... just know he'll pay you back for parking.
"Did you know Alex Collinstook Irish dancing classes?" is inching toward "Did you know Jimmy Graham played basketball?" and "Did you know Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard?" in the category of overused nuggets, but it doesn't change the fact that I adore the juxtaposition of a rugged football player doing a jaunty Emerald jig.
Bo Jackson invented the tunnel run after a 91-yard touchdown against the Seahawks on "Monday Night Football" in 1987. You know what? Let's watch that. If you were a little kid in the '80s, Bo Jackson was a real-life superhero. This run was confirmation of that belief:
Every tunnel run since has felt like an homage to Bo ... and that's a good thing.
Speaking of iconic running backs, here's a beefy Browns defensive lineman bouncing off Marshawn Lynch like he's a pre-schooler. Beast Mode is playing out the end of his career on a forgettable Raiders team, but the man still absolutely has the juice. You wonder if he would be interested in a trade to a contender? Probably not: Lynch, first and foremost, is all about that Town Bidness.
He's not much of a soccer player, though.
Until next week.