In fact, if I were an eccentric millionaire, I'd anonymously pay the $9,115 fine the Steelers star received for overzealous twerking.
That was five pumps by my count, which clearly broke the Key & Peele Rule.
It did not go unnoticed ...
Brown knows he needs to keep his pelvic thrusts under control.
"Well, I got to be smart in regards to that," Brown told CBS Sports Radio's The Doug Gottleib Show. "I never want to put my team in a bad predicament. Maybe I'll keep (the twerking) to a minimum of two pumps instead of three."
If I were an eccentric millionaire who was also the NFL commissioner, my first act would be to relax all these restrictions on having fun. Let Antonio live!