Jay Cutler never ranked among the Bradys and Mannings of the world during his playing career.
If his debut on E!'s Very Cavallari is any indication, though, he can be an elite reality television star.
The show chronicles Kristin Cavallari, Cutler's wife and reality show star, as she opens a Nashville lifestyle store. In the background is Cutler, sighing, staring and shrugging his way into the hearts of viewers.
In short: The 35-year-old former quarterback just reaffirms his extremely meme-able, who-gives-a-bleep persona. It's somehow the best football-related teledrama this side of Hard Knocks.
Here are the six most Jay Cutler-y things Jay Cutler did on the hour-long premiere of Very Cavallari.
6. He provides one-word dating advice to Cavallari's new best friend.
Hey Jay, should Cavallari's friend Kelly text this guy back?
Does said friend have any game?
Is your wife a good matchmaker?
5. He shuts down parking at the Cutler household.
The 35-year-old channeled his inner 85-year-old but banishing his wife's assistants from parking on his lawn.
He even had one helper break out the traffic cones and broke down her workout technique.
Jay is more phased by that workout regimen than he ever was by throwing a pick six. Get off his lawn.
4. He awkwardly refuses to greet Kristin's employees.
Just imagine being this guy's teammate.
3. CutlerFace was on full display
On any given Sunday, you'd see it on the sidelines.
Allow Jay Cutler to reintroduce you do his signature look: Disinterested Steel.
2. He's got a cooler full of elk meat and a new life philosophy.
"I like to keep myself pretty free so if something does pop up, I can bounce right to it."
— Jay Cutler, 2018
1. He sums his retirement up in the most Cutler-y way imaginable.
What's his long-term career goal? What does he want to eat for breakfast?
Cutler's answer: A million "mehs." No. 6 doesn't make plans.
Jay Cutler is the reality star we didn't know we needed.