What we are talking about:
He's good at the football
Dreadful matchup for my dude
"Bachelor in Paradise"
"Remind me of how happy I was to make this pick" -- Adam Rank.
Yes, I'm quoting myself. Like a quote board in the cold open to one of those E! reality TV series. But those were my famous last words to my man, Doug D. One of the stalwarts in my League of Record. I was sitting next to Doug during our draft, which was a destination draft this year. Finally, we were able to corral most of the league to do a fun destination draft (which include a Rancid/Dropkick Murphys concert the night before!), instead of hanging out at his brother Mark's house on the Sunday before Labor Day like we normally do. Which is always kind of a bummer because I can't stay out late because I typically have some fantasy show to do the next day.
And I'll admit, Mark's house is much nicer than the hotel room we had taken over. I mean, it was a nice room. But after a night spent out in the desert, swilling beers like college sophomores, the aroma of the room had turned. Like when you forget to take your wet yoga clothes out of your trunk and it sits out there all weekend (Yeah, yoga. Way to know your audience, Rank. Fine. Gym clothes. Fine, that flannel shirt you were wearing to the pizza joint that you spilled wing sauce on and you left it in your trunk for four months. Happy?).
In any event, I was sitting on the button in the third round, ready to dazzle the room with my picks. So I got up and put on a show that looked something like this.
Although, this rendition was a little boozier. Certainly bluer. And then I took Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski back-to-back. And don't @ me. Our league has been around for a while and quarterback values are inflated. Or at least in concert with the NFL. Also, Brady was the fifth QB off the board, I believe. But I was pretty pleased with myself. Less pleased on Thursday night, though.
And a quick word on that. The Patriots are notoriously bad in the first quarter of the season. It's just the way they operate. But nobody is better at in-season adjustments than the Patriots. I know a lot of you want to be concerned about Brady, but I'm going to implore you to relax. The Chiefs always play Brady well. And if Brady's receivers weren't getting tackled in the end zone (which led to Mike Gillislee backing into three touchdowns), he ends up with a pretty great stat line and everybody goes home happy.
So don't panic about Brady or Gronk at all. They will be great. This guy, on the other hand.
Apparently, it is possible. It's very, very possible.
Oh well, on to Sunday.
And without further ado ...
Aaron Rodgers is 2-0 against Seattle with five touchdown passes, no picks and a 132.7 passer rating since 2015. I'm glad I was here to convince you to start him. This is a great beginning.
Image Football is back. And what a game it was, amirite? (I filed before Thursday's kickoff.) I guess the next big event we have to look forward to is Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. No spoilers or anything (like I starred in the movie), but it appears we are in for a darker movie. As if killing off Han Solo wasn't enough of a bummer. But it stands to reason because Episode IV was light-hearted (except for Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru being murdered) and Episode V (Empire) was more morose. I can get used to having a new Star Wars picture every year.
Image And we also have some Star Wars Rebels to look forward to as well. Here's the trailer. Truth be told, this was the first time I watched it, even though Jake Ciely has begged me to do so. Damn, I need a moment.
Marshawn Lynch still has the most rushing touchdowns in the NFL since 2011 (51 TDs). He missed all of last year. I'd be shocked if he didn't get double-digit TDs in a full season.
If you think I spent a high-round draft pick on Christian McCaffrey and I'm not getting him into the lineup, well then, you certainly don't know me very well. Actually, I got him on only one team.
We are going to get a clear snapshot into some clouded running back situations in Cincinnati and Seattle. I would advise you to add Chris Carson where you can before it's too late.
Image Have we talked since "Wonder Woman" hit the big screen? Well, it's coming out on DVD or something. At least it's being advertised again. Whatever, here is what I've got. Wonder Woman was one of the most enjoyable comic book movies I have ever seen. Gal Gadot is the G.O.A.T. because she can blend butt-kicking action, but also capture that wide-eyed innocence of an Amazonian princess being dropped into the (somewhat) modern world. That's what made the humor so good. She's a real person, and not just some action here spouting out one-liners like Bruce Willis in "Die Hard" or any hero in a Marvel movie.
Sterling Shepard is a pretty good start this week. He had more than 100 targets last year and I wouldn't be shocked if he had more this season. For the record, I felt this way before OBJ went down, too. Though that doesn't hurt now.
Image I got invited backstage to the NXT show here in L.A. (sick humblebrag, brah - Franchise) and it was amazing to meet guys like William Regal (who introduced himself as Darren which made me swoon). Everyone was super cool, but the biggest mark moment might have happened when Asuka walked past us. So glad she got promoted from NXT with her perfect record and can't wait for her to go to the main roster to put over Natalya.
Jared Goff is going to be much better this year. Much better. But despite needing a streaming QB all over the place this week, I didn't add him once. The matchup is great, but ... I'm out.
Matthew Stafford is one of my favorite players to watch. But while his season totals always look great, it's pretty tough to live through week-to-week.
Image Wait, who is that one jerk on "Bachelor in Paradise?" See, you knew I was talking about Dean without even having to say his name (and jerk casts a wide net at times). I'm now in my second "wheel" Bachelor Nation (seriously, nation? There's just one nation, Raider Nation. THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE POSERS). I don't think I've grown to dislike anybody more than Dean. Mostly because Kristina was one of my favorites. But he's a definition of a (expletive) boy and I hope it ends badly for him. And I think I care about this a little too much now.
Image I also have no idea for who this Arie Luyendyk Jr. is. He's the new Bachelor BTW. But I'm already a fan because it's not Dean. Wells would have been the much better choice, obviously. But we can't have everything.
I didn't draft Melvin Gordon at all this year. I don't think he's zero-TD bad; not sure he's 12-TD good, either. But he thrived when I dogged him here last year. So you're welcome.
Adrian Peterson is the sixth NFL running back to face his old team after he previously rushed for more than 10,000 for that club. Which is cool, but I'm not starting him.
Image I've been pretty disappointed with Big Brother this season. I think when you get me to root for Cody and Jessica, then something has gone wrong. I really don't like the idea of dropping veterans in the house. Because the new cast is instantly going to fanboy over him/her. And that's what happened with Paul. And then you gave him a special power where he couldn't be eliminated in the first three weeks and it became kind of a joke. Although, that being said, he's the only guy I would give the money to at this point. At least he's playing Big Brother. Everybody is afraid to make moves. Christmas and Josh need to get Paul out next week.
Watching Allen Robinson tumble in fantasy drafts broke my heart. He went pick 80 in one league. EIGHTY! And I was just about to nab him as well. He rebounds, but not this week.
ImageI really kind of like Jinder Mahal. But I don't get the WWE's fascination with making heels look as cowardly as possible. It's okay for the bad guys to just be good at wrestling. Like part of the reason the Patriots are so hated is because they are so good. You want to see them loose. And when the Giants knocked them off a few years ago, it was meaningful because the team is great.
Image Have you signed up for my Survivor League? Oh man, you've got to do it. It's fun. The winner gets into one of my leagues next year. Here's the link. Make your pick.