Let's crunch Ochocinco's demands because this is a steal.
Verizon FiOs' best package runs $79.99 a month in the City of Brotherly Love. That means Johnson would return to the gridiron for $959.88 -- $999,040.12 less than a 10-year veteran like him would get under the veteran's minimum.
And remember: Ochocinco was at his best with a quarterback named Carson. The 40-year-old is the kind of bargain that'll make Eagles GM Howie Roseman a back-to-back NFL Executive of the Year.
Enjoy imagining the NFL's Celebration Master in a city like Philadelphia until this WiFi-for-play deal is struck.