On any given NFL weekend, many different players score touchdowns. Most of them are your standard fantasy football superstars, owned in every league. Or at least the sleepers jamokes like us have been hyping all week (cough, Dion Lewis, cough). But others come out of nowhere to vulture touchdowns or beat a third-string cornerback repeatedly for a career-day. In fantasy, these are our That Helps No One champions. The players whose success leads to the imminent demise of countless fantasy teams. All season long, we'll be tracking and crowning a That Helps No One winner each week on NFL Fantasy LIVE. Below are the top candidates for Week 4.
We might have a front-runner here for "That Helps No One" play of the year. Ed Dickson scooped up a Jonathan Stewart fumble and rumbled over 50 yards for a touchdown. No points for Cam Newton owners, and no points for Stewart owners (although Dickson did save them from losing two points on the fumble). Just a backup tight end with a scoop and score. Sigh.
Odell Beckham Jr. can make all of the crazy non-catches he wants along the sideline, as long as he actually does one (or two) in the end zone as well. The Giants' surprising win over the Bills gave OBJ owners a case of the "welps" when it was Dwayne Harris finding his way into the paint, and not Beckham.
This is what I call rich fantasy owner problems. Chris Ivory had an awesome game, with 166 rushing yards and a touchdown. But fantasy owners are greedy, so when we saw Zac Stacy amble out and fall forward into the end zone, it left a sour taste in our mouths. That's the epitomy of a "That Helps No One" performance.
Having a random player score a touchdown over a fantasy stud is always frustrating. But it really hurts when that no-name player steals the ONLY touchdown on a struggling offense chock full of fantasy commodities. That's what happened when it was Stoneburner, and not Jarvis Landry, nor Rishard Matthews, nor Lamar Miller nor Jordan Cameron who caught Ryan Tannehill's first touchdown pass against the Jets.
Kuhn's statue is currently being carved to rest eternally in the "That Helps No One" pantheon of greatness, but he's not done ruining fantasy days just yet. After Aaron Rodgers rushed the ball all the way to the 1-yard line, the Packers saw fit to let Kuhn get the score. Not Eddie Lacy, or Rodgers, or any of the talented wide receivers posting mediocre days. Nope, they just wanted Kuhn to beef up his THNO Hall of Fame resume. There are no words ... except KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHN.
DeAndre Hopkins is the motor making the Houston offense run during Arian Foster's recovery, and Nuk posted 157 receiving yards on Sunday. He would have had a tremendous outing, had second-year tight end C.J. Fiedorowicz not vultured a touchdown reception. Hey, C.J., stop it already, will ya? Thanks.
Poor Mark Ingram. After he bull-dozed his way into the end zone for what we all thought was a touchdown, the refs not only took it away from him, but Sean Payton took Ingram off the field! That's right, despite Ingram's tremendous efforts all game, Payton swapped him out at the goal line for Khiry Robinson, stealing what could have been a stellar fantasy outing from Ingram. Thanks for nothing, Sean.
So who do you think should take home the Week 4 #ThatHelpsNoOne crown? Weigh in on Twitter with #ThatHelpsNoOne and be sure to tune in to NFL Fantasy LIVE today at 5 p.m. ET on NFL Network) to see who is crowned the Week 4 winner!