I can't take it anymore. Can't listen to it. Can't watch it. Can't read it.
I cannot handle members of the media elite proclaiming that Mark Sanchez will be better than Nick Foles. I refuse to live in a world where so-called experts are telling me Sanchez is the Philadelphia Eagles' savior. And I have zero patience for these absurd sentiments that New York ruined Mark Sanchez, that the Jets ruined Mark Sanchez.
Please allow me a quick moment here to scream ... and then engage in some hearty laughter.
OK, I feel a little better.
Before I crush widespread myths, let me acknowledge the positives. I can't ignore the facts.
Chip Kelly is a great head coach and a true offensive guru. He will maximize the talent of Mark Sanchez. Sanchez is blessed with an abundance of playmakers in Philadelphia; LeSean McCoy, Jeremy Maclin, Darren Sproles, Jordan Matthews and the Eagles' tight ends are legit weapons that keep defensive coordinators up at night.
This past Sunday, we saw Sanchez step in for the injured Foles and take advantage of these weapons, guiding Philly to a win in Houston. He threw deep. He oozed confidence. Sanchez was strong as a relief pitcher. I give him credit.
And -- this is rather important, so please pay attention -- I firmly believe the Eagles, based on Kelly's brilliance and the issues in Dallas, will win the NFC East. Tony Romo is injured. The Cowboys mishandled their franchise quarterback after he first went down in Week 8, and I'm afraid they'll continue to do so this week. Philly makes the playoffs by taking the division. Print the T-shirts.
But let's curb this misguided narrative about Sanchez. Stop turning him into some kind of sympathetic figure who was wronged in the Big Apple and, inherently, is now poised to become a long-term answer in Philly.
Oh, sure, there were obstacles. I've repeatedly expressed my feelings on Rex Ryan in this space. He's a fine defensive mind, but not a head coach. Offense certainly isn't his forte, and he just can't figure out the quarterback position. Rex gave Brian Schottenheimer and Tony Sparano, the two coordinators during Sanchez's starting days with Gang Green, autonomous control of the offense -- and both bombed. Yes, the Jets did trade for Tim Tebow, which turned out to be an absolute nightmare. And no, the Jets didn't provide the most talented supporting cast.
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But don't look past the real issue: Sanchez has a knack for turning the ball over.
The former No. 5 overall pick would look the part for stretches in New York, making nice throws to Jerricho Cotchery, Santonio Holmes and Dustin Keller that would inspire the Jets and their fans. And then he would collapse. Sanchez never developed a true feel for the moment, never refined his decision-making to the degree necessary for a successful NFL quarterback. Sanchez threw more picks than touchdowns with the Jets. He racked up 52 turnovers over his final two seasons as the team's starter. Fifty-two. And he didn't exactly light up the score sheet elsewhere. Over four years as the Jets' starter, Sanchez completed 55.1 percent of his passes. Point of reference: Geno Smith, who was just benched in New York, owned a 56.2 percent clip in 2014. Oh, and Sanchez's yards-per-attempt average dropped every single season. That's not good. That's not a function of Rex Ryan or the New York media. That's on Sanchez.
In recent years, the Jets have been in a downward spiral, something Sanchez helped launch them into with lackluster play and unfathomable mistakes that routinely buried Gang Green. This is why the "butt fumble" resonated like it did -- it was a perfect, nationally televised representation of Sanchez's flair for the disastrous.
Sanchez played with leaders on both sides of the ball in New York -- guys like Damien Woody, Alan Faneca, Tony Richardson and Thomas Jones on offense, and defenders like Bart Scott, Kris Jenkins and David Harris. Sanchez never asserted himself as the Jets' leader. And he did not know how to handle "the fifth quarter," a vital task for NFL quarterbacks. Sanchez approached the New York media in an Alex Rodriquez-esque fashion. He wanted to do right -- I truly believe that -- and wanted to be loved. He just couldn't say or do the right thing, as evidenced by the time he read a postgame monologue to avoid questions. And like A-Rod, Sanchez was constantly on "Page Six" of the New York Post.
Believe me, I'm very well-versed in all things "Sanchize."
So forgive me if I think he has something to prove. Forgive me if I think he needs to show he can handle success and a bull's-eye on his back. Forgive me if I highly doubt he will avoid the turnover issues that plagued him with the Jets.
Kelly will give him a chance. But there's no chance he's better than Foles. Yes, the Eagles' injured starter had been struggling this season, but he's also fresh off a year when he posted an otherworldly 27:2 touchdown-to-interception ratio. Sanchez's career mark in this area: 70 touchdowns against 71 interceptions.
As Rich Gannon told me on "NFL Monday QB," our CBSSports Network show, "Pump the breaks (on Sanchez permanently replacing Foles). ... Can he eliminate the bonehead decisions that seem to creep into his game each week? He did throw two interceptions (on Sunday). That's the big concern with a guy like Mark Sanchez."
Those who know the deal -- and aren't drinking the strange batch of Kool-Aid going around this week -- nod their heads slowly.
Good luck, Philly. Whether you know it or not, you're going to need it.