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Vikings DE Allen: I'd drown myself if I lived in Detroit

Remember as a kid when your mother used to warn, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?" Jared Allen apparently never learned that lesson.

This much is clear about the Vikings' talkative defensive end: He doesn't have a single good thing to say about the city of Detroit. And the latest exhibit came in an interview with Twin Cities radio station KFAN ahead of Sunday's game against the Lions at Ford Field.

"I don't like going to Detroit," Allen said, via "I'll be honest. It's gloomy, it sucks. Everything is brown, and then there is snow on the ground. There's like brownstones everywhere, and I'm like, 'Awesome.' I don't know, I couldn't do it. If I had to live in Detroit, I think I'd just drown myself in the river that was across the way."

A tad over the top, but apparently it wasn't enough. Allen continued on about another U.S. city that he dislikes as much.

"I'm not trying to be mean, but it's just depressing when I go there," Allen said. "There's two cities like I don't go out to eat or don't do anything. It's Detroit and New Orleans. New Orleans looks like I'm driving through a third-world country every time I get off the plane. I'm like, 'Oh, flap jacket.' I'm trying to get down. I'm like, 'Ah, crap, I can't carry my gun here. This sucks.' "

Strangely, Allen wasn't prompted to slam the two cities. In fact, WFAN host Mike Mussman asked a question about dueling with Lions left tackle Jeff Backus, which Allen addressed before going off on a hateful tangent.

Not sure how much it'll accomplish, but maybe it's time for Kid Rock to take a page out of Lynyrd Skynrd's book and inspire us with a song about Detroit to retaliate. Jared Allen could be the new Neil Young.

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