Skip to main content

These six should be tried for crimes against the NFL

Wednesday is the 37th anniversary of when the House Judiciary Committee passed the first article of impeachment against President Richard Nixon stemming from the fallout of the Watergate scandal. Although I fear that I have already lost a great majority of you who only know Nixon because one of the bank robbers wore his mask in the movie, Point Break

Nixon eventually resigned because of crimes against America. But it's high time that somebody starts to impeach some of those in the NFL for crimes against the game. And trust me, there is a long list of names that barely avoided this dubious honor, including Ryan Leaf, JaMarcus Russell, the halftime organizer, the creator of the pink jersey and D-fense sign guy. (Don't get cocky, though, there could easily be a part two.) 

With that in mind, here are six (for now) people who should be impeached for crimes against the NFL.

And without further ado …

6. A.J. Smith
Fans in San Diego have disdain for coach Norv Turner. But I cannot be mad at Turner for the same reasons I cannot be mad at my dog for not being able to program the DVR. The blame instead should go to the guy who is calling the shots, Smith, who gets way too much credit for landing Philip Rivers.

5. Mike Brown
We are sure that Mike Brown really is a direct descendent of the late Paul Brown, right? Because when Paul Brown was in charge, the Bengals went to two Super Bowls. The Mike Brown-era has been associated with long stretches of losing, embarrassing off-the-field problems and now the face of the franchise would rather retire than return to Cincinnati.

4. Anybody who shows up at a Super Bowl party for the commercials
Granted, I haven't been to a Super Bowl party for a while, but the last one I did attend was marred by a guy who wanted to yap during the game, but shushed people during the commercials. Almost fittingly, this guy claimed to be a San Francisco 49ers fan, which made things clearer for me.

3. Joe Buck
Anybody work with a relative of the boss who -- during most work days -- displays a condescending attitude that shows that he would rather be anyplace in the world other than work? That's Buck on your typical NFL Sunday broadcast. And to you people in Los Angeles who don't want a team to return so you can get that third game (between CBS and FOX), realize that the third game we typical get is called by Buck.

2. Bobby Petrino
Running out on your team is horrible. Running out on your team with a "Dear DeAngelo Hall letter?" -- Absolutely shameful. Well, not as shameful as his attempt to do the Arkansas fight song, but shameful nonetheless. Any success that Petrino enjoys -- in college or pro -- is an affront to the game of football and America.

1. Georgia Frontiere
Obviously Madame Ram would be impeached posthumously, but it is clearly deserved. Although former commissioner Paul Tagliabue deserves a lot of the blame, too, for allowing all of this to happen on his watch -- and this is why he should never be in the Hall of Fame. But by starting with Frontiere, we can also start working to posthumously impeach the late Bob Irsay, too.

Yes, you probably are not reading this because you are quickly saying that you want to impeach me. Come up with something better and hit me up via Twitter or via Facebook. Be sure to catch the latest on the Dave Dameshek Football Program.

This article has been reproduced in a new format and may be missing content or contain faulty links. Please use the Contact Us link in our site footer to report an issue.

Related Content