"What's the most you've ever lost in a coin toss?"
"The most. You've ever lost. On a coin toss."
All right, Friday's coin toss to determine draft position is not going to be as daunting as Anton Chigurh glaring at you (that's a "No Country for Old Men" reference you can watch here). But it might be a pretty sizable swing for one or two franchises.
I wish we used the coin toss more. The NBA used to prevent teams from tanking by having the bottom two finishers flip a coin for the top pick. (And that's one of the reasons the Lakers ended up with James Worthy in 1982, beating the Clippers in a coin toss for one of the game's 50 greatest players.) Can you imagine the drama if Indianapolis and St. Louis were flipping a coin for Andrew Luck?
Don't expect that to happen again, but here are six things that should be determined by a coin flip.
And without further ado ...
The fate of the Pro Bowl
I'd love to see Javier Bardem (the actor who played Anton Chigurh) barge into the commissioner's office, flip a coin and say, "Call it." Right there, no debate -- a commemorative coin is the decisive call on the Pro Bowl. Of course, it would be heads the Pro Bowl is finished, or tails we're never playing the Pro Bowl again.
Brady Quinn's punishment
Quinn needs to be punished for what he said about Tim Tebow. John Fox flips a coin: Heads means he gets a chance to compete for the starting job. Tails means he stands on the box of shame with a cardboard sign around his neck that says: "Liar!" like Dwight from "The Coup" episode of "The Office." (And afterward he has to see Dr. Crentist.)
Who gets the Rams: London or Los Angeles?
Owner Stan Kroenke already has his franchise playing one game in London, where he owns the EPL's Arsenal, while bidding to own the Los Angeles Dodgers. In other words, the Rams are not long for St. Louis. Let's have a coin toss to determine which city gets the team.
Cris Carter in the Hall of Fame
There is no reasonable explanation for Carter's omission for the Pro Football Hall of Fame. So let's stop putting Carter through the emotional turmoil once and for all and be done with it. Odds are this is his best chance of getting in.
Peyton Manning plays or retires
Obviously a lot of this is dependent on Manning's health, but come on. Even Brett Favre thinks this is being dragged out. So flip a coin to retire or not. And if he's going to continue to play, the Dolphins and Cardinals flip for his services.
Get rid of the overtime coin toss
Surprisingly, the only place the coin toss doesn't work is to start overtime. Sure, the new rules are supposed to give both teams a chance in theory. But Tebow already ruined that. Model overtime like the college game. And hey, if you wanted to eliminate the pregame coin toss in favor of an XFL-style scrum or a 3-cone drill challenge (finally make that combine event useful), I'm all for it.