Plaxico Burress has spent roughly a third of his waking hours this offseason telling a variety of radio and television men where he'd like to play come September.
As sales pitches go, the effort has fallen flat, but the free-agent wideout isn't giving up, saying this week he'd be an ideal fit for the Carolina Panthers.
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Plaxico's reasoning is compelling:
"My brother lives right there in Charlotte, my cousin lives there in Charlotte, and all my family is there in Columbia, S.C.," Burress told WFNZ-AM on Monday, via ESPN.com. "It would just be a great situation all the way around and being close to everybody."
One of the first things to remember in a job interview, Mr. Burress, is to address the value you bring to a potential employer -- not the other way round. Family and friends hovering in close proximity is of little concern to head coach Ron Rivera and offensive coordinator Rob Chudzinski, buried in some backroom, toiling over Panthers practice film.
"Not just that, but playing with Cam (Newton), who I think is one of the top five quarterbacks in all of football, and as long as I can remember Steve Smith has been one of my favorites," Burress said. "I just think it's a great situation."
Closer, sir. The market, however, remains ugly for 34-year-old wideouts on the flipside of their better days. Burress told the station that teams have come calling, but he hasn't found the right situation. We'll be sure to update you when that happens.
UPDATE: We promised further details, and we have this from Joe Person of The Charlotte Observer. Doesn't sound promising for Burress.