The first round is a wrap, and the field of 64 has been whittled down to 32. Uniform punditry is Lord Dameshek's territory, but on a quiet Saturday, we offer up a few of our own observations about the contest to date:
» League sources tell me Shek drew up the seedings, and Dave again proves to be a man with his hand on the pulse of the public. Out of 32 first-round matchups, only six resulted in upsets. Along the way, all four top seeds (including the modern-day Raiders and 49ers along with two throwbacks, the 1960 to 1963 Eagles and 1961 to 1965 Chargers) advanced without incident.
Alas, Mr. Dameshek keeps the title of "Uniform Monitor" not through some fluke, but via hours of toil, solitary nighttime walks and a Don Draper-esque search for self. Bow down.
» The red, white and blue threads of the New England Patriots long have been a target of Dave's ire. He tabbed them as a 16th seed in the modern-day AFC bracket and paired them in a street fight with the silver and black of the Oakland Raiders. Revenge for the "Tuck Rule" it is not, but the Raiders pummeled the Patriots and move on to face the Denver Broncos. Sorry, New England, no trade-ins this time.
» I'm keeping an eye on this Round 2 throwback tilt between the 1961 to 1965 Chargers and the bumble-bee-inspired Steelers duds of 1933. A no-contest in my book. With bold, black numbers affixed to snowy white helmets, San Diego's getup is an easy-on-the-eyes classic. Dave, however, has tumbled down a wormhole giving Pittsburgh's bee garb "two big sewing needles up." I see those '33 unis as the fever-dream scribblings of a disturbed mind. Still, fans in Round 1 preferred the Steelers' fashion choices over the Browns of 1975 to 1983. Looks like seal-colored tops tucked into matte-orange pants don't do it for the young people anymore.
» Topping off a mirthless week in Cleveland, the modern-day Browns unis -- essentially unchanged since the their launch in 1946 -- were mopped up by the purple-clad Ravens of Baltimore. Awash in their Super Bowl afterglow, Ravens fans outvoted Browns followers 56,949 to 27,188. As Dave would say, "For shame, sir!"
*How's your favorite jersey doing? Be sure to check out Shek's masterwork and cast your vote before the robot armies descend on us all.