The suburban gambler/elderly rights crusader who slapped Devin Hester in the head last weekend is very sorry for what he did. Extremely sorry. Almost depressingly sorry.
Daniel Rago, 52, was waiting to cash in at Rivers Casino in Des Plaines, Ill., on Friday night when he saw what appeared to be a young man cutting a pair of senior citizens in line. That man was Hester, the Chicago Bears wide receiver/special teams dynamo, who was following the request of a casino attendant to slide over to the next window.
After a brief exchange failed to convince Hester to give up his spot, Rago did what any sane and rational person would do: He physically attacked a professional football player.
"I went over to the left of him and as a father would reprimand a kid -- not saying he's a kid but a young man -- and I just gave him a biff on the back of the head, is what I did," he told the Chicago Tribune on Wednesday. "And I was wrong for doing that. Nothing justifies another person hitting or touching another person. It's wrong on my part."
A biff? A biff! Only after Rago was arrested did he realize he'd biffed a Bear, making a bad night even worse for a diehard Monster of the Midway fan.
For shame. Then, just when things couldn't get any more awkward, they did.
"Devin, if you're listening and if you can see me here, I am so, so sorry," Rago said. "I made a mistake. I'm the bad guy here, and I apologize. I'm going to ask you right now, I will donate $500 to the charity of your choice and 20 hours of community service on your behalf. I messed up."
Rago is due in court on Dec. 1 on misdemeanor battery charges. If you ask us, gross public shame is punishment enough for the biff-master.