Dear readers: Please refrain from laughing at what you're about to read, seeing as this story could've had serious consequences for our protagonist.
It appeared, from an outsider's perspective, to be a groin injury. In reality, Vickers had ants in his pants, bad news for a guy who's allergic to the insect.
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"I was doing the play," Vickers said, according to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. "I was running, and I was blocking someone. Then I walk off, and I'm like, 'Oh snap.' And I pulled my pants down to see, and I saw ants."
(You know what, just start laughing. The "oh snap" part slayed me.)
Vickers washed off and took Benadryl before re-joining his teammates.
"As soon as I got bit, I was like, 'No,' because I didn't want to freak out," said Vickers, who signed a two-year deal with the Cowboys during the offseason. "I wanted to pull my pants down and run inside, but I couldn't do that."
Almost unbelievably, this isn't the first time that ants have invaded Vickers' pants this year. Four months ago, he was stretching out in a grassy area when he felt some bites.
"I was wheezing, and I had to drive myself to a CVS to get some medicine," he said.
We can only hope Vickers' ants-in-the-pants days are through this year, though it's a long summer with many a grassy area standing in his way.