Jay Gruden had himself a transcendent episode of "Hard Knocks" on Tuesday night.
It started in the gymnasium, where the Cincinnati Bengals offensive coordinator answered James Harrison's challenge by stroking a 3-point jumper from the deep corner. Onions.
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But that was just a prelude to Gruden's true star moment. Upset following a particularly sloppy practice, Gruden lit into his players with the best coaching rant of the season. It might have been the best blow-up since Rex Ryan's iconic "G-D snack" speech in 2010.
Here's Gruden's epic rant, in full:
"Some of the s--- that happened yesterday you wouldn't expect on the first day of rookie OTAs. We had three dropped snaps and a couple things that were my fault. That is Mickey Mouse horse---- football right there, and we all had our hand in it. Everybody had their hand in it, and it can't happen for us to be as good as we want to be. Ever.
"I can handle a drop every now and then. I can handle a guy beating you with a good pass-rush move. I can handle certain things, but I can't handle mental f---ups time and time again. Andy (Dalton)'s been a quarterback here for three f------ years and hasn't had one dropped snap. Not one. We had three in one day!
"Concentration, poise. You gotta have it on every snap in this game. Otherwise, you're going to get your ass beat time and time again. You're going to be 18th-ranked in offense. You're going to be 9-7 or 8-8, and you're going to be f-----' watching the playoffs at home every year. Yesterday, we took a major step backwards, and now today, we gotta take two steps forward.
"You gotta have great attention to detail, not just on Sundays. On Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesday, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. If you want to mull around at .500, f-----' then come out here and f--- around and f--- up. But if you want to be great, then you have to set your standards high and come out and go after it every f-----' day."
Special thanks to NFL.com programming coordinator Patrick Crawley for reminding us of Gruden's gnarly pep talk. An egregious oversight in our weekly "Hard Knocks" recap that since has been amended.
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