Tom Brady: 'I've never eaten a strawberry in my life'

By now, we're all intimately familiar with the disciplined diet of Tom Brady, a man who decided if he's to play forever, he must eat like a prehistoric man in the forest.

Brady now considers himself a living testament to the power of healthy routine. If he can remain an elite professional football player into his 40s, Brady believes others can follow his path to similar sustained success. It's a nice thought, but you get the feeling the Brady sacrifice is too great for most guys who, you know, just want to live, man.

So you can forget about boozing, fried foods, most meat, coffee, even fruit. You know how you might crave some potato chips, then instead grab a couple of strawberries out of the fridge and you're proud of yourself? Even that is considered a failure of the Brady model. F---ing strawberries!

"Do you need to eat a cheeseburger every day to realize that you love a cheeseburger?" Brady rhetorically asks a New York Magazine writer. "Or could you eat it once a week ... or once every two weeks ... or once a month ... or once every two months?

"I've never eaten a strawberry in my life," he goes on, presumably straight-faced. "I don't believe you could be a 39-year-old quarterback in the NFL and eat cheeseburgers every day. I want to be able to do what I love to do for a long time."

That's the secret to the Brady longevity. While a contemporary might fire off Instagram updates to document their 7 a.m. offseason workouts, Brady's discipline extends further, beyond the gym, beneath the surface. They say the true measure of a man is what he does when no one is watching. When no one is watching, Tom Brady is wolfing down kale and dissecting Todd Bowles' defense while doing 10,000 crunches.

In the same profile, Brady talks about his wish to "do nothing" during his four-game suspension. This leaves us a bit incredulous given everything we know about the man, but good luck with that. It's a cool plan that makes the man, for the briefest flash, relatable.

And now, here's The Dude messing with Tom Brady's suspension project.

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