1. Believing in mermaids, but not dinosaurs
2. Turning on heat coils to dry paint on a football field in mid-August
3. Releasing an album under the pseudonym Chris Gaines when you're actually Garth Brooks
4. Choosing to get a Michael Phelps tattoo
5. Getting drunk, then charging the ring during a wrestling match
6. Releasing a movie about a talking cat that stars Kevin Spacey as Mr. Fuzzypants
7. Stepping on a Foreman Grill you have plugged in on the floor beside your bed
8. Being a terrible publicist who says "Terrell has 25 million reasons to be alive"
9. The jazz club dance scene in Spider-Man 3
Please work it out, guys. This is stupid.