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Sorry, Tom: James Harrison is Father Time's top foe

James Harrison, a man who has crossed the halfway point of the average human life expectancy but will never die, is probably doing something right now that would cause your body to break in half.

Like, oh, I don't know, progressive snap pulls.

Or (fumbles for calculator) a 1,395-pound sled push:

Or benchpressing 400 pounds plus some comically oversized chains like you're Zeus from *No Holds Barred* or something. God.

Harrison turns 39 on Thursday. With apologies to Tom Brady, the Steelers linebacker is my choice for the NFL player in greatest defiance of Father Time. And I bet James eats red meat and nightshade vegetables, too.

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