Kirk Cousins announces he's going to be a father

First off and most importantly, congratulations to Kirk Cousins and his wife, Julie.

As a father of two young boys, I can say there is no greater gift. Parenthood comes with plenty of challenges, sure, but the journey is beautiful and fulfilling. This is truly wonderful news for the both of them.

But Kirk Cousins almost missed the box.

That small, football-like sphere he throws? The plan was definitely to drill the center of that large question mark. That was the hook of this whole thing. Kirk very nearly puts a crater in his backyard. Are you watching this Kyle Shanahan?

And here's the thing: You're not going to convince me that Kirk Cousins, professional quarterback who's thrown for 9,000 yards the past two seasons, was not aiming for the question mark. In fact, I can guarantee you if they had the opportunity to shoot this again, they'd take another pass at it. Literally. But one can presume that they only had one small, football-like sphere filled with a mysterious blue powder. One shot was all they were going to get, and QB1 nearly Schruted it.

Speaking of the blue powder, is the dog OK? The Cousins' are so caught up in their moment, no one seems to care that the pooch dives right into a plume of potential toxins. Are these "gender footballs" even street legal? Will someone think of Bentley!

But seriously, congrats to the Cousins family. A child is God's greatest gift.

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