The world doesn't make sense anymore, as a chaotic mixture of external and internal elements have coalesced to create the land of confusion that Phil Collins foretold a generation ago.
Out of uncertainty has come the cloth and stitch manifestation of the anger, loathing and disillusion that circles us like buzzards in the barren desert. It is the male romper.
Look at these idiots.
The male romper existed on a parallel cultural plane to the National Football League until Cam Newton showed up at Coachella last month. Honestly, the only surprise here was that Odell didn't rock it first.
Brooklyn Decker -- SI swimsuit model, wife of Andy Roddick and one-time co-host of a wonderful web series with Dr. Z -- loved Newton's Coachella outfit so much she reached out to the Panthers.
URGENT: Who makes Cam Newton's coachella romper, because I want it for myself. @Panthers - can you help a girl out?
— Brooklyn Decker (@BrooklynDecker) May 17, 2017
A suspiciously knowledgeable outsider chimed in with some pertinent details, including a stunning reveal about Newton's "one-piece".
He bought it at Score in Uptown Charlotte. It is surprisingly a two piece and not a romper however
— Chris McClain (@macwfnz) May 17, 2017
Brooklyn is right, Mac. It's the PERFECT outfit for training camp! See you in Spartanburg!
— Carolina Panthers (@Panthers) May 17, 2017
Hoo boy. I don't always get behind the zany opinions of the Bennett brothers, but take us home Marty.