Over the weekend, while draft prospects in Indianapolis were being asked if they would rather be a dog or a cat, Arian Foster was pondering Man vs. Wolf.
The recently retired All-Pro went on an hours-long Twitter rant on Sunday that began with an acknowledgement of his apprehension about the dangers of camping before things veered sharply into the debatable ...
As a former NFL star, Foster sits near the top of the human food chain in terms of physical prowess. He believes his size -- and two working, opposable thumbs -- are among the deciding factors in mortal combat.
Mr. Foster believes experience in the hardscrabble streets of his youth would play a key role in glorious victory.
Foster's argument loses steam when he postulates that education and preparation would give him a great advantage against a beast in the forest.
At times, logic had no home in Foster's explanations ...
Though one must agree that thumbs are awesome and generally underrated:
Our final verdict: Arian Foster would be wiped off the face of the planet if he were to encounter an angry wolf in the wild. Said wolf might eat his thumbs, too, just to make a point about nature's glory and all that.
That said, confidence can take a man a long way. Foster went from undrafted free agent to superstar running back, after all. I don't doubt his heart ... but I still believe a wolf would cause it to stop beating.