Adam Sandler's friend offers to purchase 49ers

Published: Jan 02, 2017 at 10:20 AM

If you're a 49ers fan frustrated by the team's direction and believe the organization needs new blood to blaze the trail back to relevance, we point you in the direction of your possible salvation: Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo star Rob Schneider.

Go no further than the DVD cover of Grown-Ups for a better idea of said "consortium of buyers."

(phone rings)

Sandler: (groggy) Hello?

Schneider: Hey, it's me, Rob.

Sandler: Rob ... it's 3:30 in the morning. Is everything OK?

Schneider: Yeah, yeah, everything's great. Sorry to bother you, but this is important. Can I borrow $1.2 billion dollars? We may have a chance to buy the San Francisco 49ers.

Sandler: What do you mean 'we'?

Schneider: Well, obviously I'll kick in as well. I'm talking about a partnership here.

Sandler: (barely playing along now) How much?

Schneider: I can do $700. Maybe a grand if you can front me for Gigolo 3. (silence) Hello? Sandman? Yeah, he probably wants to sleep on it.

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