Have you watched a full four quarters of any preseason game involving your favorite team?
(For the record, it's okay to say no. No one here is judging you.)
Even if you weren't sticking around to see who was taking snaps when the final gun sounded, we spent our weekends paying attention to what went on around the National Football League and how it could affect your fantasy football season. This is how much we love you.
Achieving QB clarity
One thing we learned after the end of PW2 (yeah, I shortened it) is that a lot of the quaterback compeititons we've seen in camp are coming to a close ... for now. The crazy part is that it wasn't always the quarterback with the best performances who earned starting nods. Mike Glennon wins the gig even though Mitchell Trubisky was the big story in Week 2. Brock Osweiler appears to be the man in Cleveland despite DeShone Kizer showing an ability to move the offense more consistently. And despite the hoopla in Houston over Deshaun Watson, Bill O'Brien is sticking with Tom Savage. Some of these competitions could be re-opened once we get into the regular season. But for now, this is where we are.
All aboard the hype train
The DeVante Parker hype train has been fueled up for a couple of seasons now with really nowhere to go. But now there's a new conductor -- Jay Cutler. After last weekend's game, Cutler said Parker was like a faster Alshon Jeffery. If that statement doesn't get your attention, I don't know what will. Cutler has notoriously had tunnel vision for receivers he likes, so it's encouraging that Parker is potentially being anointed. It's still smart to preach restraint over a player who might only rise to the level of a WR3 at best this year.
The running back picture in Seattle hasn't been pretty this preseason. Presumptive starter Thomas Rawls is hurt. Eddie Lacy has done little to impress anyone. C.J. Prosise doesn't seem to have a much bigger role than as a pass-catcher and third down back. Chris Carson is outchea starring in Twitter gifs where he's trucking people at the goal line and there's still Alex Collins ... who also does stuff. Pete Carroll is notorious for motivating players through competition in practice and has previously shown that the size of a player's contract doesn't preclude that player from being on the bench (Matt Flynn, anyone?). This thing is cloudier than a Seattle morning.
Burkhead of the class
Last week, I did my best to decipher how things could go in the Patriots backfield. Welp. That lasted about 48 hours before going sideways. Mike Gillislee has been a ghost for most of training camp while Rex Burkhead is making plays and carving out a nice role. Will he end up atop the depth chart when the Pats lace 'em up in Week 1? At this point, I'm out of the Patriot predicting business. I took my shot at it. I leave it to you all to discuss.
Bill of goods
Does anyone have a clue what to make of the Bills offense this year? Their top two receivers are a rookie and a big slot receiver who has posted decent (not great) fantasy totals but is currently dealing with an injury. Tyrod's late-round fantasy draft value is plummeting and the whole thing is threatening to spread its evil tentacles to LeSean McCoy. At the moment, Shady is the only truly draftable fantasy player on this roster, though his status as a top three back is in jeopardy. Everyone else is a mid- to late-round risk/reward option. Life sometimes moves in your direction with express velocity.
Dismal in Duval
The Jaguars are poised to be a team on the rise ... if they could ever figure out their quarterback situation. Blake Bortles continues to be a hot mess. Allen Robinson is caught voicing his (expletive) frustration over the (expletive) that Bortles is throwing his way. It's so bad that Chad Henne is realistically in the conversation to be Jacksonville's starter. Yes, THAT Chad Henne. Things are all bad in Jacksonville right now and it's threatening to once again torpedo the fantasy value of some very good pass-catchers. Help us out, Doug Marrone. If you won't do it for the fantasy community ... do it for yourself.
Bucs back byke?
When it comes to starting running backs facing a suspension to start the season, Doug Martin hasn't garnered the same level of attention as another particular rusher. But after his performance in PW2, it's about time we start discussing the Douggernaut in more serious terms. Yes, he's going to miss the first three games of the season but considering how productive he can be when fully healthy, he should be coming off the board before the 11th round. If you're willing to spend a second-round draft pick on a player who could miss seven weeks of your season, you should be willing to go much higher on a guy who'll only miss three.
*Marcas Grant is a fantasy editor for NFL.com and a man who forgot he had half a bottle of Fernet Branca in his fridge and is continually searching for recipes to use it in. Tweet him your best suggestions on Twitter @MarcasG. If you read all of that, congrats. He also dishes out fantasy advice -- and life shenanigans -- on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat (marcasg9). *