Analysis  

 

The footballer's guide to Every 'Simpsons' Ever

Courtesy of FOX

FXX will show 522 episodes of "The Simpsons" over 278 continuous hours, a broadcast feat comparable to your typical Super Bowl pregame show. And while I'm sure there are some of you out there who will give it a go and try to watch all 278 continuous hours, well, that's not happening. Similarly as to when you were a kid and you told your parents you were going to stay up all night on New Year's Eve only to fall asleep at 9:23 p.m. But you can only hope to get this close in this endeavor.

Thankfully, this useful invention called the internet is full of guides and cheats sheets to help you get the most out of "The Simpsons" marathon. My wife has actually granted me DVR space for 20 of my favorite shows. Of course the "Who Shot Mr. Burns" two-parter is a must. But that is all up to you. If you fancy some of the best football episodes of "The Simpsons" here are a list of some of my favorites. I'm not sure they are going to show the shorts, but No. 11 featured Homer trying to teach Bart how to catch a football. But here's the list.

Don't be shy about entering some of your favorites in the comments, too. There are 522 episodes, so let me be clear I'm going to overlook some stuff. But you figure there will be that sort of collateral damage in an endeavor like this. But I was limited to football stuff, so we'll chat soon.

"Lisa the Greek" Friday, August 22, 10 a.m. ET
Homer and Lisa bond over watching football on Sundays. I'm just going to stop there with the description.

"Brother from the Same Planet" Friday, August 22, 10 p.m. ET
Yeah, there's a Bart Starr reference early in the episode. But this one is pretty funny. You won't be disappointed.

"Homer Loves Flanders" Saturday, August 23, 10 a.m. ET
If you aren't familiar with the show, uh, why are you reading this? But Flanders takes Homer to a football game. And Homer develops a huge man-crush on Flanders. And then it's Flanders who grows sick of Homer! Oh the humanity. (BTW, John Paquette pointed this out. I'm telling you, this is tough.)

"A Star is Burns" Saturday, August 23, 10 p.m. ET
Springfield holds a film festival and while not a true football episode, it does feature a football in the groin. And a football in the groin has a football in the groin.
Cameo: Jon Lovitz, George C. Scott

"You Only Move Twice" Sunday, August 24, 3 p.m. ET
Not really a football episode, either. But this is a pretty awesome episode sprinkled with football references that you need to see again. And the payoff at the end is amazing. This might have been "The Simpsons" at its absolute best.
Cameo: The Denver Broncos

"Bart Star" Monday, August 25, 5:30 a.m. ET
After Homer heckles Ned Flanders, he ends up coaching the pee-wee football team. Then through nepotism, he then installs Bart at quarterback. This might or might not have been based on the humble beginnings of Eli Manning's career.
Cameo: Joe Namath

"Sunday, Cruddy Sunday" Monday, August 25, 9 p.m. ET
The Simpsons are going to the Super Bowl! The gang gets tickets to the Super Bowl, only to find out the tickets are counterfeit.
Cameo: Troy Aikman, Rosey Grier, John Madden, Pat Summeral

"The Old Man and the Key" Wednesday, August 27, 6:30 a.m. ET
Not a football episode at all, but it opens with Homer happily excited for the kickoff of the new XFL season. Only come to find out, the league's MVP works at Marge's hair salon. Poor Tommy Maddox!

"Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass" Thursday, August 28, 1 p.m. ET
Yeah, Homer becomes the choreographer of the Super Bowl halftime show! Not sure if he was the one who told the Red Hot Chili Peppers to go shirtless in last year's Super Bowl, but I suspect.
Cameo: Tom Brady, Warren Sapp

"Million Dollar Abie" Friday, August 29, 3 a.m. ET
The NFL announces plans to expand to Springfield, but commissioner Bud Armstrong is held captive by Abe Simpson and the team is revoked. As a Los Angeles sports fan, I can commiserate.

"O Brother, Where Bart Thou?" Saturday, August 30, 8 p.m. ET
Bart is bummed because he doesn't have a brother.
Cameo: The Manning brothers (yes, even Cooper)

You can reach Adam Rank on Twitter @adamrank. But you'll understand if he's watching massive amounts of "The Simpsons" over the next couple of weeks.

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