The Fifth Down  


Rob Ryan's face, Joseph Fauria's dancing top Week 6


In terms of excitement, Week 6 did not disappoint. There were defensive battles, an overtime thriller, touchdown dances, a classic Tom Brady comeback, and of course, three Eli Manning interceptions. Yep, all was right in the world of the NFL once again. In addition to the norms, things got a bit weird as well, which is why this column exists in the first place. Hold onto your butts -- it's Fifth Down.

The now trending #RobRyanFace brought to you by Tom Brady.
The now trending #RobRyanFace brought to you by Tom Brady.

Tom Brady ruined Rob Ryan's day

The Saints-Patriots game was easily the best game of the day, featuring two likely first-ballot Hall of Fame quarterbacks duking it out. Ultimately, it was Tom Brady and his closet of trendy sweaters who had the last laugh, thanks to a vintage fourth-quarter comeback drive with no timeouts. The greatest part (unless you're a Saints fan) was the camera catching Rob Ryan's look of utter and complete agony on the sideline. Not only did we get a fantastic game of football, but it provided the most GIF-able moment of the 2013 NFL season (so far) as well.


If you've watched a Packers game, you've likely heard the Cheeseheads shouting the name of their folk hero, John Kuhn, every time he touches the ball. Or comes into the game. Or drinks Gatorade. Basically, they love the guy. Well, there were likely a lot of KUHN shouts heard across the coutnry today, but of the "KHAN!" variety. Kuhn had arguably the most boneheaded play of the day, attempting to pick up a blocked punt (by the Packers) that had been advanced across the line of scrimmage. Kuhn, a fullback, tried to pick the ball up and run with it when all he needed to do was let it lie and the Packers would have taken over. The result? A Ravens first down, and a likely spot in the next edition of the Shek Report for Kuhn.

The Legend of Thaddeus

With rookie EJ Manuel sidelined with an injury, and the Jeff Tuel experiment not panning out, the Bills turned to Thaddeus Lewis to lead the stamped against the Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday. Unfamiliar with Thaddeus? Gather round children, as it's a fascinating tale. Lewis had one career start prior to this game, and was on the Bills' practice squad just last week before being promoted to starter. Facing one of the toughest defenses in the league (that just held Tom Brady to six points) poor Lewis seemed to have the deck stacked against him. That was until he rallied the Bills in the fourth quarter, throwing the game-tying touchdown to Marquise Goodwin with 1:08 left in the game to force overtime. Unfortunately, this chapter in the Legend of Thaddeus ended with a loss. But the legend continues next week in Miami, where young Thaddeus has a shot at redemption.

There's a new sensation in the NFL, and his name is Joseph Fauria

Football nuts out there might remember Joseph Fauria as a talented tight end who played at UCLA before joining the Lions as an undrafted free agent this fall. The rest of the football watching world (outside of Detroit) probably had no idea who he was until Sunday, when he danced his way into America's heart. I mean, come on, he doesn't even have a photo in his profile on this website! Anyway, Fauria has proven he not only has a penchant for the end zone, but for touchdown dances as well. Fauria has seven receptions on the season, and five of them have been touchdowns. Four have resulted in great dances, including a Jimmy Fallon requested rendition of *NSYNC's Bye Bye Bye. Not bad for an undrafted rookie.

Chiefs fans set Guinness World Record for LOUD NOISES

Notable sounds with high decibel levels
Arrowhead Stadium Rock Concert Jet Engine Richard Sherman trash talk
137.5dB 115dB 140dB 194dB

Apparently, this has become a thing now. Mere weeks after Seahawks fans broke the Guinness World Record for loudest crowd roar, Chiefs fans set about to break it, and succeeded by reaching 137.5 decibels. Brick Tamland would be proud. The Seahawks likely will strike back at one of their upcoming home games, but really who cares other than those fans who can now claim they were part of an obscure record? Footballwise the Chiefs sacked Terrelle Pryor 10 times on Sunday and are 6-0.

Vince Young joins the growing list of out-of-work QBs ready to play

After the Houston Texans were shellacked at home by the St. Louis Rams (ruining my Weekly Pick 'Em), Vince Young took to Twitter to offer up his services for a team that will likely be searching for a new quarterback in 2014 (if not sooner):

Young, Tebow and even Brett Favre are all gainfully employed by their couches right now, and it sounds as if Favre is in the best shape of them all. Regardless, the likelihood of ANY of these signal callers receiving a phone call from the Texans is about the same as a Texans quarterback making it through a game without throwing a touchdown... to the opposing team.

Oh, and Tom Brady was left hanging


If pictures are worth 1,000 words, this GIF is worth 1,000,000. (GIF courtesy of The Big Lead)

The Rams offense ran 41 plays, but the team put up 38 points. That is a fantasy sacrifice, my friends. Unless you started the Rams defense. If you did, pat yourself on the back.
The Rams offense ran 41 plays, but the team put up 38 points. That is a fantasy sacrifice, my friends. Unless you started the Rams defense. If you did, pat yourself on the back.

Fantasy Football sacrificial lambs of the week: The Rams offense

Aside from Sam Bradford, whose three touchdowns were a solid performance, no one on the Rams delivered from a fantasy perspective. Granted, few ever expect the Rams to produce from a fantasy perspective in general, but I digress. Thanks to a combination of penalties and turnovers, the Rams were gifted a number of short fields that they turned into touchdowns. And then T.J. Yates threw a Matt Schaub and the Rams offense simply needed to run out the clock. So kudos, St. Louis Rams offense, for doing what it took to win on Sunday, even if you ruined a lot of fantasy teams in the process.

Follow Alex on Twitter @AlexGelhar for his musings on food, film and of course, the occasional insightful football comment.



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