We have some ugly news for the rest of the AFC East.
"It's a lot easier for me now than it's ever been," Brady said of the rigors of training camp, per ESPN's Mike Reiss. "I feel like my routine is better than it's ever been. When you're younger, you don't know what to do. After 17 years, going into my 18th year, I know how to prepare."
Brady's preparation is well-advertised, centering around a finely tuned schedule of high-octane hydration and ornately crafted, uber-healthy, plant-based meals that keep pesky items like dairy and processed junk far from the quarterback's digestive system.
"I'm never sore," Brady said. "I could practice every day. I could practice twice a day if they'd let us do that, but that's not the way it goes anymore. It's just fun being out here competing. That's what us football players are here for. It's football season -- we go out and compete."
His playing days will come to an end, but it's unclear if that will require the passage of time or -- more simply -- a screaming asteroid willing to take out the East Coast.
Nothing less seems to phase the finest quarterback of our lifetime.