On any given NFL weekend, many different players score touchdowns. Most of them are your standard fantasy football superstars, owned in every league. Or at least the sleeper jamokes like us have been hyping all week (cough, Steve Johnson, cough). But others come out of nowhere to vulture touchdowns or beat a third-string cornerback repeatedly for a career day. In fantasy, these are our That Helps No One champions. The players whose success leads to the imminent demise of countless fantasy teams. All season long, we'll be tracking and crowning a That Helps No One winner each week on NFL Fantasy LIVE. Below are the top candidates for Week 1.
The Cardinals boast a talented wide receiving corps featuring Larry Fitzgerald, John Brown and Michael Floyd, and we all know that Bruce Arians offenses historically don't feature the tight end. So OF COURSE on Sunday it was Darren Fells who was targeted five times, reeling in four of them for 82 yards and a touchdown. Watching the big guy (6-foot-7, 281 lbs.) lumber through the Saints defense was almost comical at times, but hey, good for him. Just please don't do it next week and sully another potentially amazing game from John Brown.
LeSean McCoy was doing some damage in the passing game against the Colts, but was finding it tough to run between the tackles. Which was why it was great to see him rip off the 26-yard touchdown to the right. Until ... we realized that it was rookie Karlos Williams, and not Shady, who was blitzing through the Colts defense and stampeding into the end zone. While McCoy's owners did get 87 total yards for 8.7 points, that one Williams run was worth 8.6 alone. That, my friends, is the epitome of a That Helps No One contender. We'll see if he wins out once NFL Fantasy LIVE airs today 4 p.m. ET on NFL Network.
The vulturing of McCoy touchdowns didn't stop with Williams, making for a hilarious afternoon if you were playing against McCoy, but an agonizing one if you started him. The team worked its way down to the goal line, but instead of letting McCoy tack on a touchdown for all of his hard work between the 20s, the team decided to roll with Boobie Dixon for the 1-yard plunge. To make matters worse (or more hilarious), that was Dixon's only carry the entire game.
Now, this is not to say that any one was actually starting Josh McCown, but Manziel coming out and chucking a deep touchdown pass to Travis Benjamin was about as That Helps No One-y as it gets, folks. Some fantasy players might have been forced into starting Isaiah Crowell or Duke Johnson as a flex option, so the fact that Manziel couldn't have tossed it to them, or just handed off, hurt as well. Manziel and Benjamin have a combined 1.8 ownership percentage across ALL NFL.com fantasy leagues. Yikes.
The Lions are supposed to have an outstanding passing attack this year. A healthy Calvin Johnson and Golden Tate, the emerging Eric Ebron and the electric rookie Ameer Abdullah give Matthew Stafford the most talented group of targets in his career. So, it goes without saying that Theo Riddick's 21-yard touchdown reception was a bit disappointing. Especially since the Lions were trying to claw back into the game. What happened to your tunnel vision for Megatron, Stafford? Two catches for 39 yards is just not going to get it done for us this year. Please step it up next week, thanks.
A lot of fantasy fans were starting to buy into the Raiders offense a bit this year. Oakland boasts breakout candidate Latavius Murray, stud rookie wideout Amari Cooper and second year signal-caller Derek Carr. Talk about a nice, young trio. Welp, when Carr left the game with a hand injury and Matt McGloin came in, that optimism started heading for the door. And then it walked out and slammed that door in the face of fantasy fans when McGloin hooked up with fullback Marcel Reece not once, but TWICE for short touchdown passes. The fantasy sadness from Murray and Cooper owners knows no bounds after this heart-breaking series of events.