New England's last two Super Bowl wins were so improbable that play-by-play professionals across the world likely exclaimed, "Hollywood couldn't write this script!"
This week, Hollywood called their bluff.
Because good stories can't exist in the 21st century unless they're dramatized and sold for profit, two films regarding the Patriots' championship seasons in 2014 and 2016 are reportedly in the works.
Patriots cornerback and Super Bowl XLIX hero Malcolm Butler's story is heading to the big screen in a biopic temporarily titled The Secondary. The tagline offered on The Hollywood Reporter indicates Butler's Hollywood story will reflect the classic rags-to-riches tale: from running the fryolator at Popeyes to becoming the team's star cornerback.
And then there's the inevitable Untitled Tom Brady Deification Project.
Brady's dramatic season of vindication is being optioned as the subject of a "book and feature film project", fronted by the writers of Mark Wahlberg's The Fighter and Mark Wahlberg's Patriots Day. A report from Deadline suggests the movie will chronicle New England's improbable 25-point comeback in Super Bowl LI, as well as document the Deflategate case and Brady's "fall from grace", as they put it.
All this desire to fictionalize and "slo-mo" New England's epic Super Bowl victories is well and good for capitalism or what not, but it'll be hard to argue that the end result in either case is better than the work that NFL Films did within 72 hours of these games ending.
But while we're here, let's go over a few obvious casting choices. You know, just to help out the studios.
Malcolm Butler: Chadwick Boseman.
Bill Belichick: Robert DeNiro, with the Jake LaMotta weight.
Robert Kraft: The 45th President.
Rob Gronkowski: Thad Castle.
Tom Brady: Anyone -- ANYONE -- but Mark Wahlberg.