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Cheers to Brady fire; jeers to premature Manziel burial

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Welcome to the Around The NFL End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the National Football League. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.

It was a good week for ...

1. Jags game-day experience manager: Dude is working hard. Pool parties, closest to the pin contests from the second deck, a mascot going 80s bully on enemy fans. It's almost as if the team is trying to distract the audience from the product on the field.

2. Odell Beckham: The wide receiver has had a Moss-like rookie season, but his most amazing feat is making this Giants team relevant in December.

3. Case Keenum: The nomad signal-caller is proof of the seeming dearth of competent quarterbacks on the planet right now. What I'm trying to say is, stay near your phone until Week 17 is over.

It was a bad week for ...

1. Jay Cutler: Benched for Jimmy Freaking Clausen. Maybe the reason Cutler seemed to be in good spirits during his Thursday presser is because he knows what will happen when Clausen faces the Lions' defense.

2. Robert Griffin III: It must be hard enough succeeding in the NFL when your mechanics and instincts vanish like you're in a bad body-switch comedy. But Griffin is also dealing with a coach who seems to relish taking back-handed shots at him. Football doesn't seem very fun in D.C.

3. Kickers: The NFL is considering narrowing the width of the goal posts from 18.6 feet to 14 feet at the Pro Bowl. The players union needs a separate union to protect kickers rights.

Manziel #HotTake madness

Yes, Johnny Manziel was awful on Sunday. But what was up with the instant funeral service for his NFL career this week?

In just the video above, you'll see Terrell Davis give Manziel an F-minus for his performance (this grade does not exist in modern academia), while NFL AM co-host Eric Davis went even further: "Mike Pettine's decision to put (Manziel) in is one of the worst coaching decisions of the last decade."

T.D. and Eric Davis were hardly alone. I can't even imagine what was going on at the Worldwide Leader. Actually, let's check in there ...

You get the point. Too many people seem ready to write Manziel off based on one miserable game. But I think this requires a more nuanced approach. Manziel better hope the Browns agree.

Tweet of the week

Receipt (noun): A written acknowledgment of having received, or taken into one's possession, a specified amount of money, goods, etc.

What The What?

Tom Brady is an intense guy on the football field. We've known this for years. You don't need to be a champion lip-reader to know he -- like many other athletes -- will sometimes express himself with profanity.

Some people believe this vulgarity should be hidden from the American public. The Smoking Gun reported this week that the FCC received three indecency complaints about Brady.

"Greetings," one Indianapolis (of course) mother wrote. "My 6-year-old children know how to read lips even if there is no sound. So why during the telecast is CBS going out of their way ... to show Tom Brady screaming the F-word on national TV?"

A Pennsylvania grandparent had a similar issue:

"(T)he camera showed multiple times Tom Brady on the Side lines (sic) yelling "F***." He said it multiple times and they showed it multiple times. My 8-year-old grandson was watching the game with me and even commented that he should not have said that."

Brady offered up a fair response last week when asked about his salty dialogue: "It is (a great word), especially in the heat of the moment."

We couldn't agree more. Relax, grandma.

DeSean Jackson is the best

A video posted by Lesean Mccoy (@25_mccoy) on

We have no reason to doubt that LeSean McCoy's impression of former Eagles teammate DeSean Jackson is 100 percent accurate. "This is Jackpot, CUZ!"

Quote of the Week, Part I

"Yes, I eat a lot. I'd eat a big sausage."

-- Rob Gronkowski, beautiful animal/guest judge on Top Chef

Quote of the Week, Part II

"J.J. needs to start paying me, needs to pay some royalties. You can't just copy somebody without paying."

-- Former NBA star Dikembe Mutombo, who good-naturedly ribbed J.J. Watt over his finger-wag celebration.

A Very Angry Bears Fan Christmas

This makes me want the Bears to be bad forever. Get this man a record contract.

Hero of the Week: J.J. Watt kid

This kid closes his letter STRONG.

I was the most feared rusher in my league this year. I am sending you my autographed game jersey so you will know me when I am a famous NFL player.

Your friend,
Anthony

Definitive Sub-Rob Lowe Power Rankings

It's been a weird season. It's only fitting that the year's most prominent advertising campaign featured Rob Lowe and a series of DNA-challenged doomed doppelgangers. I've probably tweeted more about this DirecTV campaign than the Titans and Jaguars combined. I believe that makes me qualified to offer the definitive Sub-Rob Lowe Power Rankings.

Note: There is the chance that DirecTV rolls out more sub-Lowes during the postseason, but those sorry beasts missed the cutoff date. Onto the rankings:

5. Scrawny Arms Rob Lowe

Crucial line: "Looks like I'm not having any mayonnaise."
Best Real Rob Lowe activity: Watching football with beautiful people in his rich mahogany-scented living room filled with leather-bound books.
YouTube views: 68,212
Chance Sub-Lowe finds partner in lifetime: 20 percent. He seems like a good dude, he's just iron deficient. I imagine someone will look past his faulty pipes.

4. Painfully Awkward Rob Lowe

Crucial line: "I hope it's not a girl ... or a guy."
Best Real Rob Lowe activity: Making a healthy fruit smoothie while beautiful friends socialize in opulent living room.
YouTube views: 109,947
Chance Sub-Lowe finds partner in lifetime: 8 percent. He appears to have crippling social anxiety disorder. He's also busted and probably collects human skin.

3. Far Less Attractive Rob Lowe

Crucial line: "Uh, I don't ..." (sweeps hand across scalp, loses half his remaining hairline)
Best Real Rob Lowe activity: Lounging on expensive-ass couch, watching action film with group of beautiful baby boomers.
YouTube views: 316,166
Chance Sub-Lowe finds partner in lifetime: 2 percent. He lacks hair, self-confidence, financial stability and eyes that point in the same direction. Total train wreck.

2. Crazy Hairy Rob Lowe

Crucial line: "I have arm hair curtains ... and I don't like that."
Best Real Rob Lowe activity: Lounging in infinity pool during beautiful people party at his hillside Malibu estate.
YouTube views: 52,792
Chance Sub-Lowe finds partner in lifetime: 1 percent. He's a monster. I imagine he's already tried to shave his body hair, but it only grew in thicker. In a dystopian society, he's kept in a cage.

1. Super Creepy Rob Lowe

Crucial line: "My cable's out, so I'm down at the rec center watchin' folks swim."
Best Real Rob Lowe activity: Lying in bed, sipping gourmet coffee with loyal St. Bernard sleeping at his feet. Rain falls gently outside his sliding glass doors.
YouTube views: 89,003
Chance Sub-Lowe finds a partner in lifetime: 40 percent. He's one makeover away from being in Real Rob Lowe's ballpark. If he keeps going to the rec center, he's bound to jump in that pool.

Until next time ...

The latest Around The NFL Podcast previews every Week 16 game and recaps the Jaguars' win over the Titans. Find more Around The NFL content on NFL NOW.

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