We've reached the midway point of the NFL season. Well, kind of.
Technically speaking, the season's true halfway point won't come until sometime during one of Sunday's early games. You scientists out there are welcome to pinpoint the exact location of the 50 percent marker, but we're confident sticking the flag right about here.
Around The League already handed out Midseason Hero Awards on our podcast (you should really listen), but there's always room for more meaningless accolades! Everything in life is ultimately meaningless, you say? Whatever man, I'm not your therapist. Let's get to it!
Instant Classic Award (Best Game)
This one had it all: Tons of scoring, lead changes, an undefeated team, records falling, that weird Jerrah World sunlight thing -- and best of all -- Tony Romo and Peyton Manning, the two most scrutinized quarterbacks on the planet.
This is also the first time in NFL history Twitter actually willed something to happen, that of course being Romo's Shakespearean interception to ruin what had been arguably the greatest passing day ever.
Bury The Tape Award (Worst Game)
You might better remember this as The Game Where The Tattered Remnants Of Josh Freeman's Self-Worth Went To Die. If you listen closely enough, you can hear Jon Gruden and Mike Tirico attempting to rappel out of the broadcast booth midway through the third quarter.
The Zach Sudfeld August All-Star Award
In honor of a player who performs at a high level during the preseason only to disappear once real games begin. The award is forever named in your honor if fans and media members -- using a twisted and reductive form of logic -- christen you "Baby Gronk" before you achieve any tangible success.
Unintentional Comedy Award
Rob Gronkowski's Comeback Video
The awkward Gronk spike at an abandoned Pop Warner field slays me every time. I have no idea why.
Best Catch Award
The exact moment society was convinced Brown could be a true No. 1 wide receiver. OK, the exact moment I was convinced.
Worst Actor Award
I think it's adorable that someone in my office labeled the above video "Tavon gets tripped up." This game tape could be studied like the Zapruder film and no commission would ever deem that Austin tripped on anything. You'd have to CGI in Brandon Meriweather to sell anybody on this flop.
Best Pass Award
This throw, made late in the Lions' crazy 31-30 win over the Cowboys on Sunday, gets crazier the more you watch it. There's literally no way an offense should be able to complete a 41-yard pass and get out of bounds in that situation.
Could the Dallas secondary have played it better? Perhaps, but Stafford makes the perfect throw, dropping a tight spiral in between three defenders. Stafford capped the drive with his sneaky QB dive two plays later, but the Durham throw was an 11 out of 10 on the difficulty scale.
Worst Pass Award
Making fun of Weeden doesn't even feel right anymore. It'd be like going to SeaWorld after seeing that "Blackfish" documentary. (Free Tilikum!)
That said, we need to address the above pass, which doubled as the exact moment Weeden's Browns career was doomed. Well, if you don't count that time he got trapped under an American flag before his first start. Most patriotic harbinger of doom ever!
Best Interview Award
In the span of 58 seconds, Smith:» refers to Rams cornerback Janoris Jenkins as "just another notch on the bedpost."
» suggests Jenkins learned how to use the Internet just days ago.
» commands Jenkins to "take his ass back to St. Louis to watch the (bleeping) film."
» alerts Jenkins that if he sees him in the street he's going to "bust him in his (bleeping) mouth."
Steve Smith should be enshrined in the Pro Football Hall Of Fame right now.
Worst Idea Award
Donte Whitner's name change
We're still working under the impression that Whitner has yet to realize he willfully changed his surname to a near match of the 20th century's most heinous tyrant. Even White Power Bill thinks this is a bad idea.
And onto the second half we go ...