Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has endured and created his share of headaches this offseason. Constant chatter of windows closing, "beating the Giants' ass," and the typical drama from Dez Bryant have made for a colorful summer. And now this.
Jennelle Carrillo is suing Jones and the team after attending the Blue & Silver scrimmage at Cowboys Stadium way back in August 2010. Carrillo claims she parked herself on a bench outside the facility and endured third-degree burns on her buttocks.
"Prior to entering the seated area of Cowboys stadium, plaintiff sat down on a black, marble bench outside of and near entrance 'E' to the stadium," the lawsuit reads, via CBSSports.com. "The bench was uncovered and openly exposed to the extremely hot August sun. The combination of the nature of the black, marble bench and hot sunlight caused the bench to become extremely hot and unreasonably dangerous. ... As a result of sitting on the bench, plaintiff suffered third degree burns to her buttocks."
Carrillo's attorney, Mike Wash, couldn't confirm how long his client sat on the bench. The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported "when she got up to use the restroom, she discovered her burns."
Carillo's lawsuit hinges on her claim that the "defendants knew or reasonably should have known that the material used to construct the bench would become unreasonably hot when exposed to the August sun."
We wish her well, but this is absurd. We are trained as human beings to presuppose that sun-scorched objects tend to heat up during a summer's day (in Texas of all places). Any adult sitting down on a black, marble bench in August has probably sat down on a black, marble bench in August before. They're steamy.
Jones and the Cowboys are an easy target. It's hard to root against them this time around.
Follow Marc Sessler on Twitter @MarcSesslerNFL.