We call Rob Gronkowski a tight end because the football lexicon has not yet constructed a word to describe a pass-catching machine that is only slightly less tackleable than an out-of-control SUV. Much like a piece of heavy machinery, Gronk spent last week in the shop undergoing repairs. This week, he's once again street legal and ready to roll against the rival Jets. Godspeed to any green-clad tacklers.

When simply your presence in the offense makes a future Hall of Famer expendable, you're on the right track. The Saints haven't exactly given Kamara the keys to their running back kingdom ... but he at least has the access code to get through the front gate. Now that Sean Payton doesn't have to pretend to appease an aging, ill-fitting veteran into his offense there should be more touches available for the productive jack-of-all-trades rookie to cook a little more in the Crescent City.

After spending two weeks out of action with broken ribs, Montgomery appears ready to once again confound and confuse us by being a running back who wears No. 88. But heavy lies the head that wears the cheese in this backfield. Young Aaron Jones has made an impression and is threatening to usurp some opportunity from Monty. Take heart! If the division of labor is such that Montgomery dips into his wide receiving past as Green Bay's passing down back, there could be some clarity here. Small miracles, I know.

And the curtain falls prematurely on yet another Tyler Eifert season. The glint on the sidewalk that we'd hoped was the shiny quarter that slipped through the hole in our pocket turned out instead to be a discarded bottle cap. Such was our disappointment when Eifert had season-ending back surgery. That makes three times in five career seasons -- and the second time in as many campaigns -- that Eifert played in eight or fewer games because of injury. He is survived by Tyler Kroft.

With so much news coming from the Beltway on a daily basis, you're forgiven if you haven't kept close tabs on the Ballad of Robert Kelley. The injured running back continues to be injured as his bum ankle will prevent him from testing his mettle against the 49ers on Sunday. Instead, Washington will look to employ a running back who isn't injured. Enter Perine. Head coach Jay Gruden says the rookie will get most of the carries. For a team that hasn't shown a huge commitment to running the ball, that might not mean much.

Remember way back in Week 1 when Sam Bradford was lighting up the New Orleans Saints and it looked like all the fantasy sleeper dreams we'd dreamed for him were going to come true? Sometimes dreams are merely the things hoped for but sometimes never achieved ... or at least delayed. After trying to gut it out last week, Bradford made a hasty exit. Alas, our dreams are deferred for another week as Case Keenum continues his captaincy of the Viking ship.

The name Matt Breida left a foul taste in the mouths of many who started Carlos Hyde last week. Call it an aggravation of his hip injury or (as Kyle Shanahan would describe it) falling victim to Breida's hot hand, either way, Hyde left people wanting. While there's no accounting for the temperature of Breida's hand this week, we can tell you that Hyde -- or at least his balky hip -- was taken off the injury report. Any removed barriers to entry are welcome.

It seems like more and more, I've been stanning for Jets in some piece of content I create. Perhaps this is the universe's way of rebuking me for my haughty rejection of anything Gang Green-related before the season. Universe, I hear your admonishment and I accept my punishment with humility. Anyway, Bilal Powell is uncertain and Matt Forte doesn't really fit in the offense, so Elijah McGuire's a nice sleeper option this week.

Writing about DeVante Parker every week in one way or other is a form of self-flagellation for believing that this would finally be the year that we'd rejoice in his ascendance to fantasy star. Unfortunately, Parker has spent the early part of the season being Cutler'd (like the rest of the Dolphins offense) and now he's dealing with a grouchy ankle that doesn't seem interested in being healthy for Sunday's game against the Falcons. And again, I punish myself.

Somewhere in this universe exists a trove of unwritten rule books. If I find that trove, I will check for the unwritten rule that says the 2017 Baltimore Ravens aren't allowed to have more than two active running backs at any given time. It appears that rule will be in effect again this week as Terrance West is set to miss a game with a calf injury, ceding work to Buck Allen and Alex Collins. Someone in Baltimore should rewrite that unwritten rule.