Yesterday we yinned, today we yang.
We've already provided our "best" QB trios in the Super Bowl era, and because that list probably left Jets, Broncos and Browns fans feeling sad by comparison, we'll spare those teams' 2016 QB trios and focus on the past. For the best, really: It's better to just leave these groups in the rearview mirror ... after we stare at them with shock and horror one more time.
Below, you'll find 15 candidates for the Cerberus Award, named after the mythical three-headed dog, for the worst 15 quarterback units of all time. Woof.
Turns out running in the rain shirtless doesn't equal NFL success. These QBs had a combined completion percentage of 55.0 with 14 touchdown passes, 19 interceptions and a 67.9 passer rating while being sacked 47 times. Mark Sanchez completed 54.3 percent of his passes with 13 TDs and 18 INTs. So they drafted Geno Smith to fix the situation.
Bears fans won't be surprised to see one of their QB groups made the list -- in fact, unless their optimism has stolen their perspective, they're surprised we've only got one on here. In '04, the QBs combined for a 52.9 completion percentage, 9 TD, 15 INTs, a 62.7 passer rating and 66 sacks. Chicago passed for 165.1 yards per game and only Chad Hutchinson threw more TDs (4) than INTs (3).
Believe it or not, there was a time when Tom Brady wasn't the Patriots QB. Coincidentally, the Patriots were a punchline more often than not, never more so than in '98, when these four QBs totaled 13 TDs to 19 INTs, completed just 55 percent of their passes, and owned a 63.3 passer rating ... and no QB threw for more scores than picks. Zolak earned both "W"s for the 2-14 Pats.
Rookie "can't-miss" prospect Rick Mirer threw all but 10 pass attempts among the QBs. He finished the season with a 12:17 TD-to-INT ratio and a passer rating of 67.0 ... and he was the best of the lot. Mark's football-throwing brother, Dan McGwire, was the only other player to throw a TD pass that season.
Even Bruce Arians wouldn't have had enough magic to pull a rabbit out of his Kangol with this group. John Skelton (1-5) and Ryan Lindley (1-3) combined to throw 2 TD passes and 16 INTs, getting sacked 27 times along the way. Kevin Kolb (3-2) threw 8 TD passes against 3 INTs with a passer rating of 86.1. In other words, Cards fans pined for Brian Hoyer (0-1) ... and there's just no dignity in that.
Two guys named Billy Joe, zero success in '98. The QBs compiled a 52.0 completion percentage, 18:19 TD-to-INT ratio and a 69.2 passer rating. And if you're thinking, "But Kerry Collins wasn't too bad" ... he started the most games (7), had the second-lowest completion percentage (49.2), threw half as many touchdown passes (4) as BJT, and twice as many picks (10) as Wuerffel.
This East Bay mess totaled 13 TD passes and 11 INTs, a passer rating of 71.6 and was sacked 36 times, but the '09 edition -- Russell, Bruce Gradkowski, Charlie Frye and J.P. Losman -- might've been worse: That foursome threw 10 TD passes against 18 INTs, with a 52.6 completion percentage and a 62.2 passer rating. (But on the relative bright side, Gradkowski is the only guy still in the league).
Indy's enthusiasm for their new pro football team was likely quelled when they got a load of the Colts' QB trio, which finished 4-12 with 13 TDs and 21 INTs. In his 5 starts, Schlichter (who went 0-5) averaged 128.8 yards per game and threw all three of his career touchdowns.
Much to the sorrow of Giants fans, the mid-'90s Big Blue offered several seasons' worth of options here ... but the '97 edition distinguishes itself as the worst QB trio to make the postseason. The Giants QBs produced just 16 scoring strikes, while completing 52.5 of their passes. Kanell, who took over for Brown after Week 6, kept the bar nice and low by averaging 108.8 pass yards per game.
Fans of "Hard Knocks" still get a cold chill up the spine at the mere mention of the less-than-spellbinding Croyle vs. Huard training camp battle. Herman Edwards' gang finished with a 4-12 record, while QB Brodie Croyle finished the season going 0-6 with 6 TDs and 6 INTs. Overall, the Chiefs' quarterbacks combined to throw 17 TDs against 20 INTs and were sacked a whopping 54 times.
Although this team somehow managed to win seven games, it wasn't owed to the quarterback play. Woodley went 4-2 with 6 TDs and 14 INTs, while Mark Malone went 3-5 with 13 TDs and 7 INTs. Scott Campbell, winless in his two starts, didn't fare any better, with his 4:6 TD-to-INT ratio. The QBs' combined passer rating was a woeful 64.1.
Before Cam Newton or even Jake Delhomme, there was darkness in Charlotte, where the allegedly pro-level QBs of '01 totaled 12 TDs, 22 INTs and a passer rating of 60.6. This 1-15 Panthers squad featured rookie QB Chris Weinke ... who was 29 years old, helping boost the average age of quarterbacks on the roster to 27.3. (All three QBs were 25 or older when they entered the NFL.)
The Motor City QBs combined to throw 13 TD passes and 18 INTs, with a 44.9 completion percentage and a 55.4 passer rating. The real victim (besides the fans) was Witkowski, who was deemed not good enough to beat out any of the other three in training camp.
Carter -- who was positioned to be Jerry's would-be savior under center -- instead led the Dallas QBs to a combined 14 TD passes and 20 INTs, while the unit collectively threw for a league-worst 138.6 pass yards per game.
The Brown standard for what an NFL quarterback room looks like: Cleveland's turn-of-the-century trio combined to throw twice as many INTs (18) as TD passes (9). Nine TDs? Reminder: The football season is 16 games long ... and in that 2000 season, the QBs' collective record was 3-13, with an average of 152.8 pass yards per game (30th in the NFL).