"Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together...mass hysteria!" -- Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters.
Ok, so the strange start to this season doesn't signal the start of the apocolypse. But after three weeks of NFL action, the real world has been lost and some odd bizarro fantasy world has emerged.
Most of the fantasy superstars, regardless of position, are failing to meet expectations.
They've been as powerless as Superman with a kryptonite necklace.
J.T. O'Sullivan has more fantasy points on NFL.com than Peyton Manning, Ben Roethlisberger and Carson Palmer. Ronnie Brown, on the shoulders of one good week, has more points than all but three running backs. That list that includes Michael Turner, Marion Barber and Frank Gore but excludes LaDainian Tomlinson, Adrian Peterson, Joseph Addai and Steven Jackson.
Heck, T.J. Duckett has more points than Ryan Grant!
Of course, 77 wideouts have more points than Ocho Johnson (or whatever his name is now), so that's not as much of a shock.
In a time when it's hard to determine the stars from the one-hit wonders, owners are left to wonder who they can trust in their starting lineups.
OK, let's move on to our look at the five best and worst performances from Week 3:
Ronnie Brown, RB, Miami (41 points): Talk about coming out of nowhere. Brown entered the week with 48 rushing yards and an awful 2.8 YPC average, but he torched the Patriots for 113 yards and five total touchdowns. Brown was active in a mere 17 percent of NFL.com leagues, however, so his impact wasn't widespread across fantasy land.
Michael Turner, RB, Atlanta (28 points): Turner was a tremendous start against the hapless Chiefs, and he met expectations with 104 yards and three touchdowns. In what is a notable trend, Turner has now rushed for 434 yards and six touchdowns on 54 career carries indoors. He faces the Carolina Panthers, outdoors, in Week 4.
Reggie Bush, RB, New Orleans (24 points): Bush is following up a disappointing 2007 season with some tremendous numbers in 2008. He caught 11 passes, totaled 148 scrimmage yards and scored a touchdown in a 34-32 shootout in Denver. The former Southern California standout has become a must-start, especially in PPR formats.
Marshawn Lynch, RB, Buffalo (23 points): Lynch isn't seeing a ton of carries each week, but he's making due with the touches he receives for Buffalo. He rushed for 83 yards and scored twice in a comeback win over Oakland and now has four touchdowns on the season. Lynch has scored in four of his past five regular-season games overall.
Drew Brees, QB, New Orleans (22 points): Brees threw for just one score against the Broncos, but his 421 passing yards still made him a top performer this week. He proved that even without his top option, Marques Colston, Brees can still make a significant impact. He faces the San Francisco 49ers at the Superdome in Week 4.
Other notables:Frank Gore, RB, San Francisco (22 points); Brian Griese, QB, Tampa Bay (22 points); J.T. O'Sullivan, QB, San Francisco (22 points).
Terrell Owens, WR, Dallas (1 point): Say it ain't so, T.O.! Owens was quiet during most of his team's 27-16 win over the Green Bay Packers, catching two passes for 17 yards. He also failed to score a touchdown for the first time this season. Owens remains an elite wideout, however, and should be active in all formats week in and week out.
Kellen Winslow, TE, Cleveland (1 point): The Browns offense floundered against Baltimore, so Winslow's porous stat line wasn't a shock. He is still on pace for 75 catches, so don't be so quick too bench him regardless of any depth-chart movement. Winslow could have another quarterback throwing him the football sooner than later.
Andre Johnson, WR, Houston (2 points): Johnson's failures against Tennessee was a surprise, based on the fact that he had recorded 25 catches for 262 yards and two touchdowns in his previous three games against the Titans. Regardless of the team's quarterback situation, Johnson remains a must-start wideout in all fantasy formats.
Randy Moss, WR, New England (2 points): Moss was the most coveted wide receiver in fantasy football this season, but the loss of Tom Brady has put a dagger into his value. In two games with Matt Cassel under center, Moss has a combined 47 yards and no touchdowns. It's hard to sit him, but Moss has some serious question marks now.
Willie Parker, RB, Pittsburgh (2 points): Fantasy owners need to remember something about the Philadelphia Eagles defense. It is 10 times better at home than it is on the road. Parker found that out the hard way, rushing for 20 yards on 13 carries in a 15-6 loss. Fast Willie has another tough matchup this week against the Ravens.
Other notables: Chad Johnson, WR, Cincinnati (2 points); Braylon Edwards, WR, Cleveland (2 points); Ryan Grant, RB, Green Bay (3 points).