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Top 25 fantasy rules

  1. Never name your team after your girlfriend or cat.
  1. Listen to the experts.
  1. Don't listen to the experts.
  1. No complaining after a win.
  1. Being a fantasy coach does not give you the right to slap people on the butt.
  1. It's your duty to talk trash. Period.
  1. Making stupid trades to help another team steal the title is lame.
  1. Avoid 'friendly' advice.
  1. Don't draft a player that's already been drafted.
  1. Set your lineup on Tuesday morning. Fine-tune it every day afterward.
  1. It's never over until it's Tuesday.
  1. Be wary of last minute changes to your lineup ... go with your gut.
  1. Doubtful means he's not playing. Game-time decision means #%$@&!
  1. Teams who forgot their QB had a bye week should be mocked.
  1. Drafting first is overrated.
  1. Teams starting an injured player should be scorned.
  1. Know how to pronounce your draft pick.
  1. Keeping a kicker in a keeper league is open to ridicule.
  1. Losing 120-119 is NOT a moral victory.
  1. The best trades are often the ones you do not make.
  1. Running back-by-committee is a plot to undermine fantasy players.
  1. A running back is only as good as his offensive line.
  1. Recreating your alma mater's bowl lineup from five years ago doesn't work.
  1. Don't trade for a player because your girlfriend thinks he has 'cool hair.'
  1. Always play fantasy football at


  1. Don't draft your fantasy football team using the fantasy football insert from the TV Guide.
  1. Unsigned players always do better before you pick them up.
  1. Although your league commissioner is in all likelihood a power-mongering tyrant, not even a sacrificial offering will appease him. Only a gold trophy (digital or real) will.
  1. When deciding on your first-round pick, consider the likelihood, or lack thereof, that this is the year the Madden cover curse is broken.
  1. Don't add a player because he has the same last name as you.
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