Every week of the NFL season tells a story. GIFs -- pronounced "gifs", "jifs" or "gee-oafs" -- can do the same thing. So let's tell the story of Week 8 through GIFs. There's logic in play here.
JuJu Smith-Schuster is more than just the guy whose name most often sends me to Google to secure proper spelling and capitalization. (Move over, Le'Veon Bell!) He's also been the most entertaining wide receiver in the NFL this season. In case you need context for the scene above: Smith-Schuster -- who doesn't have a driver's license -- had his bike stolen last week. That prompted a series of social-media messages comical and heartbreaking in equal measure. This dude really loved his bike.
Some great competition this week in best organized touchdown celebration. Let's start in Philadelphia, where the Eagles continue to do an excellent job with their baseball-themed performances during the MLB playoffs. Torrey Smithwent yard off Nelson Agholor in Week 5. This week, Zach Ertz got revenge on Smith for admiring that blast by burying a fastball in the hip of cleanup man Alshon Jeffrey.
My favorite part is how Ertz immediately runs in the opposite direction -- like a basic coward. My favorite real-life reaction by pitchers in this situation is when they drop the glove and deliver the "bring it" hand motion. Highly masculine stuff.
But the winner this week takes us back to the Steelers, who deliver an expertly choreographed bench press routine. And guess who's doing the grunt work of this bit, serving as the literal anchor of the set piece in the role of the bench itself? That's right: JuJu Smith-Schuster. Knight this man already.
I marveled at these two men when CBS cameras brought them into America's living rooms on Sunday. I even paused the game so I could more closely study the gentlemen, who did not have a single blemish in their pristine red face paint. Think about it: The Texans and Seahawks kicked off at 4:25 p.m. ET. One can safely assume these men were in their costumes hours before the game began. And there they are, five minutes deep into the fourth quarter, still looking like human thermometers. Did this require multiple restroom visits for touchups? What was that scene like -- especially in a raucous enemy environment like CenturyLink Field?
And then, of course, comes the saddest realization. After the Seahawks stole this classic shootout in the final minutes, our red devils were forced to venture through the bowels of the stadium, out into the concourse, and finally, across the vast parking lot before reaching their 2001 Dodge Stratus. Such dedicated fandom is loaded with pitfalls. Respect.
Travis Benjamin was already dealing with the mental anguish of arguably the worst punt return of all time. Not needed was this gorgeous display of game official synchronicity on the safety call. Benjamin, the individual with dreads to the left of the screen, just stands there like a man at war who saw too much.
Guys, you're lugging around that portable tent thing to every game for a reason, right? As I understand it, said tents exist so players can a) pee without breaking state decency laws and b) shield John Q. Public from a front-row seat for funny groin massages. Seriously, the tent is right there! Meanwhile, FOX's Skycam is rolling over to capture this ambiguously defined trainer effort. Sunday, October 29, 2017: Skycam became a self-aware creeper.
Shawn, you may want to sit down for this. So, executives at CBS made the decision to kill off the wife character in 'Kevin Can Wait' and replace her with sitcom veteran Leah Remini. I'm not sure why they did it, seeing as 'Wait' seemed to be on solid footing in the ratings book, but I imagine the network is attempting to cash in on the chemistry Remini and Kevin James shared in 'King of Queens', one of their more popular sitcom offerings of the previous decade. In a way, it's not totally dissimilar to what NBC is doing with their 'Will & Grace' reboot. Shawn, Shawn, you OK?"
I quite enjoyed this touchdown celebration by Vikings wide receiver Adam Thielen. It appears to be a clear homage to soccer-style goal celebrations in a game that was played in England. But for me, this was more a callback to how a bad guy would celebrate in a '80s movie about high school football. Little does Thielen know that by the end of the third act the team's undersized backup quarterback is going to win state, rule the school, and take Adam's beautiful, underappreciated girlfriend.
Until next week.