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That Helps No One Week 14: Waka waka Whittaker

On any given NFL weekend, many different players score touchdowns. Most of them are frequently started on fantasy football rosters. But others come out of nowhere to vulture touchdowns or beat a third-string cornerback repeatedly for a career-day. In fantasy, these are our That Helps No One champions. The players whose success leads to the imminent demise of countless fantasy teams. All season long, we'll be tracking and crowning a That Helps No One winner each week on NFL Fantasy LIVE. Below are the top candidates for Week 14.

Fitzpatrick set the fantasy world on fire last week with six passing touchdowns. His followup? Zero passing touchdowns. He did, however, manage to vulture a rushing touchdown away from Arian Foster (who thankfully got one of his own later after demanding the ball on fourth and goal). It didn't help that Andre Johnson left the game early with a concussion, but come on Fitzpatrick, your Harvard education didn't teach you to throw it more often to DeAndre Hopkins?

Jared Cook. A certain fantasy black magic still lingers in the very name. Few players have earned the ire and general disdain of the fantasy community like Cook, who routinely fails to deliver on his athletic potential. This is one of the primary reasons his two-touchdown performance on Sunday has earned a place in our weekly "That Helps No One" tour. Shaun Hill didn't toss a touchdown to Stedman Bailey or Tre Mason because Cook was too busy gobbling up all of the targets and scores. It's OK though, as we can rest assured he'll return to his role as the invisible man in no time.

Charles Johnson owners in particular know the pain of this touchdown. Initially, it looked like Teddy Bridgewater and Charles Johnson were going to hook up for their second score of the first half. However as Johnson fought to cross the goal line, the ball was knocked from his hands and sent spinning into the end zone. Fortunately for the Vikings, Felton was nearby to dive on the ball and give them the score. Unfortunately for Bridgewater and Johnson owners, they got nothing from the exchange. Later on in overtime, Bridgewater got a touchdown back on a wide receiver screen to Jarius Wright, but Johnson (and Greg Jennings/Kyle Rudolph owners) were left in the dark. Doh!

Torrey Smith was a non-factor in Sunday's game against the Dolphins as he dealt with a knee issue, but that doesn't excuse Joe Flacco from throwing a touchdown pass to Clay Aiken's long-lost cousin (they actually have no relation, not that you believed me in the first place). Steve Smith had himself a nice afternoon, but it would have been nicer with a second touchdown. Thanks, Flacco ... for nothing!

Look, I love fat guy touchdowns as much as the next guy, but can't you at least decide to call this play when it's not the fantasy playoffs, Raiders? I guess we can give them a pass, though, as who was really banking on any Raiders players in the fantasy playoffs? Some owners might have gotten frisky and started Latavius Murray, but even then, if you're playoff hopes are riding on the Raiders you might as well be driving blindfolded with the brake lines cut.

The first thing that was surprising about the Panthers-Saints blowout was that the blowout was in favor of the Panthers. The Panthers. A team that stumbled to six straight rather convincing losses. The second surprising thing was that Whittaker was not only on an NFL roster, but rumbling into the end zone! What the what? On a day when many players started Jonathan Stewart, it would have been great to see that touchdown go his way. On the Saints side of the ball, even in a blowout loss they couldn't help but find a way to be "That Helps No One" contenders, which is why Drew Brees saw fit to make his only touchdown pass on the day go to Ben-freaking-Watson. Ugh.

So who do you think should take home the Week 14 #ThatHelpsNoOne crown? Weigh in on Twitter with #ThatHelpsNoOne and be sure to tune in to NFL Fantasy LIVE (weekdays at 5 p.m. ET on NFL Network) to see who is crowned the Week 14 winner!

-- Follow Alex on Twitter @AlexGelhar.

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