Analysis

Spoiler Alert: Week 16

Happy Holidays! The Week 16 picks are upcoming, but a few things real quick ...

Savvy moves by the Seahawks' brain trust late this week, re-signing Cliff Avril and KJ Wright. The Legion of Boom gets the majority of the attention, but the speed and ferocity that rotating front seven brings on every play is at least as big a nightmare for opposing QBs -- especially in the C-Link. The jump they get off the snap in passing situations is so stunning, I watched several plays from last week's game in slow motion just to confirm they weren't going offsides. (They weren't.)


Speaking of my eyes playing tricks on me ...

Here's the Le'Veon Bell-provided Optical Illusion of the Week:

I know the fact it came against the Falcons diminishes the deed a bit, but seriously, I still don't really get that.


If rumors of Jim Harbaugh returning to Ann Arbor to coach his alma mater come to fruition, I hereby decree any and all awkward recruiting visits to the homes of teenaged blue-chippers be captured on video for my amusement. Seriously, take a moment to try and imagine those oddball exchanges. The entertainment value is too high for me to fathom.


Deepest apologies to all the cools who cracked wise about the quality of Thursday night's matchup. Good news: The season's almost finished, so you can get back to focusing on being cool.


Banner week on the Dave Dameshek Football Program thanks to high-quality visits from a couple of Baltimore Ravens. Baltimore's former head coach/current Football Baby benefactor Brian Billick parsed no words in analyzing the troubles of Peyton Manning and Johnny Football -- plus provided a stunning answer to which AFC rep he thinks is the one team that could go into Foxborough and win a game this January:

Torrey Smith -- just nominated for the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award (which, for my money, is the most handsome of all pro football trophies) -- was also forthcoming with his thoughts. The wideout hit on why this Steelers fan should like Joe Flacco, the possibility of a Ravens-Steelers meeting in January and his favorite Torrey/Torre/Tori/Torii. Unfortunately for your ears, he agreed to perform a duet of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" with me. Watch/listen if you dare:


Torrey's charity work is worthy of high praise, as are the efforts of so many good guys around the NFL.

To name just a few, there's A.J. Hawk ...

... and Jared Allen ...

... and the most generous person I've ever met, former NFL QB Chaz Batch.

In a season that'll be remembered by some for the bad behavior of a few high-profile players, don't forget that the nice fellas still far outweigh the naughty.


Closer to home (and on a far-less-significant global scale), I nonetheless sincerely appreciate my co-workers Warren Sapp, Brian Billick, Dan Hellie, Daniel Jeremiah, the "Around The NFL" mirthmakers, Mike Silver, Marc Istook, LaDainian Tomlinson, Willie McGinest, Steve Mariucci, Amber Theoharis, Handsome Hank, Michael Fabiano, Adam Rank, Marcas Grant, Marshall Faulk and Michael Irvin. Thank you for your support of Football Baby, Football Turkey and Football Frosty this season. You've helped make Football Grandma's year even brighter.

Thanks, too, to the people behind the scenes who've brought "The Baby Who Picks Football Games" (and all my other hooey & applesauce) to your attention in 2014: The Foreman Mitchell Swartz, TD "Black Tie" St. Matthew-Daniel, Chris Miller, Dick Isakow, Zach "Fouts Tie" Dresler, Zack "The Gold Standard" Goldman, Ben Liebenberg, Alix Drawec, the Blue Room denizens, Matt Lathrop, Jonesy, Puma & all the Stage One/Two fellas, Ryan Travis, Beau DeSilva, Alex Wilk Tie, Patrick Crawley, Bobby Karpeles, Jacob Freedman, Joey Maloney, the Two Joshes, Christian Andersen, Duane Munn, Goose Gustafson, Mike Altier, Sandwich Coppinger, Drew Statin' Christensen, Bill Smith, Ali Bhanpuri, Gennaro Filice and the newsroom editors (especially whichever one of you is reading this right now -- between you and me, I like you better than the other guys).

Happy Holidays to you all ... and apologies for talking so much.


Alright, let's get to the Week 16 picks ...

WARNING: Do NOT continue reading if you don't want to know the final scores of the Week 16 games.

(1-0 so far this week, 12-4 last week, 152-71-1 on the season)


EAGLES 44
'SKINS 17

LeSean McCoy: 160 yds/scrimmage, 2 TDs.
Robert Griffin III: II TDs, II INTs.


CHARGERS 19
NINERS 21

Antonio Gates: 17-yd TD rec.
Frank Gore: 2 TDs.


BROWNS 26
PANTHERS 20

Josh Gordon: 7 rec, 160 yds, 2 TDs.
Kelvin Benjamin: 38-yd TD rec.


LIONS 31
BEARS 21

Calvin Johnson: 2 TDs.
Jimmy Clausen: 2 INTs.


RAVENS 23
TEXANS 27

Torrey Smith: 60-yd TD rec.
J.J. Watt: 2.5 sacks, 2-yd TD rec.


VIKES 20
DOLPHINS 22

Xavier Rhodes: 30-yd INT TD.
Brent Grimes: 35-yd INT TD.


FALCONS 34
SAINTS 30

Julio Jones: 8 rec, 130 yds, 2 TDs.
Jimmy Graham: 7 rec, 110 yds, 2 TDs.


Harrison: Week 16 Game Picks

With playoff implications in games across the NFL, Elliot Harrison provides his forecast for the entire Week 16 slate. READ

PATS 27
JETS 17

NE RBs: 3 TDs.
Geno Smith: 2 Pro Bowl-caliber plays.


CHIEFS 28
STEELERS 31

Dwayne Bowe: 75-yd TD.
Antonio Brown: 6 rec, 115 yds, TD.


PACKERS 38
BUCS 10

Randall Cobb: 2 TDs.
TB: 9 different colors on jerseys.


GIANTS 16
RAMS 19

Odell Beckham Jr.: Every NYG rec.
Greg Zuerlein: 45-yd GW FG.


COLTS 24
COWBOYS 28

Andrew Luck: 3 TDs.
DAL RBs: 190 yds/rush.


BILLS 20
RAIDERS 9

Mario Williams: 3.5 sacks.
Khalil Mack: sack, INT, forced fumble ("The Mack Trick" -- trademark pending).


SEAHAWKS 10
CARDS 7

Marshawn Lynch: 30 yds/rush.
John Brown: 40-yd TD pass to Jaron Brown.


BRONCOS 24
BENGALS 21

C.J. Anderson: 2 TDs.
Andy Dalton: 2 INTs.


Enjoy Week 16! I hope your team wins (unless they're playing my team).

Follow Dave Dameshek on Twitter @Dameshek.

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