Welcome to the End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the National Football League. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.
REVEALING MOMENT AT FALCONS CAMP
If we, as a society, decide to continue with this gender reveal business, let's do our collective best to keep things original. So credit to the Levitres ... can't say I've seen the Gatorade reveal before. Wait, though, is there even a pink Gatorade color? Perhaps Andy had a decent idea how this was going to turn out.
CHASE DANIEL, UNDERCOVER
Love this prank by Bears quarterback Chase Daniel, who donned a Mitch Trubisky jersey, bucket hat and sunglasses and posed as an autograph hound at training camp. Pay close attention to the look Trubisky shoots Daniel right after signing his jersey; he's like a secret service agent who intuitively feels something is wrong.
THE MOTHER OF ALL BURGERS
-- 5 third-pound burger patties
-- 5 hot dogs
-- 5 bratwursts
-- 20 slices of American cheese
-- 8 slices of bacon
-- 8 chicken tenders
-- 12 ounces of fries
-- 10-inch buns
-- "Tanker" sauce (do you even want to know?)
We watched Rap Sheet attempt the great feat this week on NFL Network's "Inside Training Camp Live," but his strategy was all wrong. You have to attack the sucker from the sides, the easiest entry point. Avoid the bun initially. After you take down everything else, do the Kobayashi thing where he dips the hot dog buns in water and then inhales. That said, I just don't imagine a scenario where you eat this thing and survive.
EVEN MORE BEEF
Now this is delicious. Kelvin Benjamin told The Athletic last week he wished the Panthers never had drafted him before specifically citing the accuracy issues of Cam Newton as one of the reasons Benjamin didn't perform up to his capabilities. Cut to Thursday afternoon, where Cam tracked Benjamin down ahead of the preseason opener between the Panthers and Bills.
Is there a lip reader in the house? This is as dramatic as anything we'll see on "Hard Knocks" this month.
ALMOST IMPOSSIBLY, WE HAVE YET MORE BEEF
Always fun when a man of generous carriage weaponizes his curves for dance comedy. Who could ever complain about such entertainment? Well, there is the lady on the left here. She seems pretty down on the whole situation. Notice how the dude in the Ray Lewis jersey starts out in the lead with his sensual robot interpretation. The challenge was laid out to the Big Man, who answers hard. He rips off his shirt, does the worm down a flight of a stairs (super impressive) before making the aggressive shift to his own open area for a dizzying final coda. Ray Lewis Guy has been vanquished. Just a beautiful ballet.
AND WHAT ABOUT DESSERT?
COULD THE TURK BE CALLING?
Life is funny. Ray Lewis probably spent months crafting his Hall of Fame remarks and this is all anybody will ever remember. Well, that and the sweat. So much sweat.
BEAST MODE INVESTIGATION
For the record, Warren didn't have any issues that led to his undrafted status. He played collegiately at the University of Texas, where he struggled with injuries and also made a move to tight end at one point. He had a 276-yard rushing game against Texas Tech as a freshman.
YOUR NFL REDDIT FUN FACT OF THE WEEK
DEAR GOD, SAQUON BARKLEY IS GOING TO BE SO GOOD
That sound you hear is millions of fantasy owners moving the Giants rookie up their draft boards. Have mercy.
I LIKE YOU ... BUT MORE AS A FRIEND
Some things you should probably keep to yourself, John. Bryant later tweeted that he "wouldn't mind" playing for the Browns and now Rapoport says the two sides are "scheduled" to meet. All in all, though, this strikes us as a way of letting the Hardland down gently. "You're going to make a lucky wide receiver really lucky one day ..."
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"We'd beat the (expletive) out of [the Eagles] 'cause we was rolling. If we won [versus Minnesota], I knew nobody was gonna stop us 'cause we came all the way back. We know what the standard is. ... So, yeah, [expletive] Minnesota."
Until next time ...