Week Seven is through, Week Eight awaits. Right now, though, it's time for me to shine the white-hot light of shame on those who deserve it most. Just remember, players and coaches: don't get angry at me if you see your name below. Ultimately, I didn't put you on this list - you put you on this list. Let it begin!
You may not be able to spell "elite" without "E-L-I", but you certainly can get it done without "J-O-E". With the Ravens defense decimated by injury, it's on Flacco to shoulder the load for Baltimore the rest of the way. 6.58 points against that great Texans D would be forgivable, but Joe Cool has been frigid all through October, completing only 53 percent of passes. In short ... shame!
.60 points against the Jets? Hindsight's 20/20, but somebody on the Patriots coaching staff really shoulda let Lloyd know Darrelle Revis is out for the season. Shame!
Now let's get to this week's Twitter-submitted nominee for Fantasy Shame. I don't need to tell you, the fantasy owner, about the disturbing proliferation of shameful deeds being committed on the professional gridiron this season. That's why I encourage - nay, demand - you help me in my righteous fight against said shame by uploading your videos with the hashtag #FantasyShame. It might be used on the weekly Shame Report, or perhaps you'll see it right here.
Nicely done, Pat ... except for your spike. C'mon, fella - put a little oomph into it! Either way, though, much obliged. Next...
After the last three or four decades, it's no surprise the Bengals would shudder at thought of Pittsburgh coming to town... but in 2012, the Steel Curtain has been intimidating in name only. If Old Man Hasselback and internal-link-placeholder-1 were able to torment Ike Taylor two Thursdays ago, Dalton and Green should've been able to put up three times more than their combined dozen points.
And at #1, earning this week's Brown Paper Bag of Shame...
As the owner/Head of Football Operations/GM/head coach, I accept full responsibility for the pitiful results the 2012 Kool Kats have delivered to our dedicated fanbase. Our organization works very hard to put a successful product on the cyber field with the ultimate goal each season being a championship - so it goes without saying that everyone within our facility is disappointed with our 3-4 record and our generally lackluster play.
If I were a smaller man, I'd point out the fact that our QBs, Tony Romo and Jay Cutler, have both delivered more bad games than good so far. I'd also point out how lousy Darren McFadden's been in spite of staying healthy through seven games. In addition, I might suggest Hakeem Nicks' chronic injuries haven't helped, nor have the repeated drops and fumbles of Brandon Pettigrew. But again, I'm not petty enough to call those players out - so I'll accept the blame ... as well as the Brown Paper Bag of Shame.
'Til next week, try not embarrass yourselves. (Especially you, Romo, Cutler, McFadden, Nicks and Pettigrew.)