I don't know where to begin with this Monday night game. I feel a little like John Malkovich at the end of "Con Air" when he's surprised Mykelti Williamson is up and walking around after fighting off a diabetic coma (which was a totally realistic portrayal, too).
"You have been near death this entire trip?"
Honestly, I don't think I've seen a scene quite so surreal in a while. The game, not "Con Air" which was on the other night. Come to think of it, "Con Air" is on every night. But the whole Romo thing was kind of unbelievable. Though, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins were both being carted off on Sunday night during "Hell in a Cell" but both were able to return to action to sorta finish the match. Which is why I tweeted out the above statement. It really did have a WWE-type of feel to it. Right down to the owner/G.M. being on the field to help make a decision.
The only thing more fitting would have been for Romo to have lost that fumble at the end of regulation and Washington wins the game on a field goal moments later. I could feel Twitter getting ready to explode for that one. But that would have been way too unbelievable. Just sit there and imagine that for a moment, won't you?
All right. So here's the #MondayNightmare. I had thoughts of punting this week because I thought there would be too many bad jokes about Romo. But then I remember the folks who hang out with me on Twitter are pretty (expletive) awesome. Maybe not all the St. Louis fans, but for the most part you people are cool. Sorry I doubted you. Let's get to the heartache!
There is a level of hell where you lose to the dude on autopilot.
Part of me would have been cocky when Romo got that close. But then part of me would have figured a crippling interception was about to happen at any moment anyway, so why bother?
Brutal. Man you stick around all game just looking for a glimmer of hope. And then you get a chance, but it's not enough. So goes fantasy football. (It will make it better if you read it in the voice of Scott Bakula.)
It's not stopping. There are times when it's not your year. My friends in my "League of Record" will take great delight in letting you know I'm not going to win that title again this year. It's pretty rough. I have a decent team, too. Well except for the Adrian Peterson, Ryan Mathews and Stevan Ridley part of it.
Even my wife Rosie McGeee was yelling at Dez last night. And she typically only gets fired up on Monday nights when Randy Orton RKOs somebody out of nowhere.
Our lives can be very busy. So these things happen. I have a feeling we're going to be able to hire fantasy football management companies to take care of such endeavors in future. Maybe that will be my next gig after I split out of here.
I have a league like that. My team is so stacked. I have my starting RBs of Matt Forte and Le'Veon Bell. So of course I benched Mark Ingram. And lost.
I'm telling you, this ain't cool. Especially since he's the greatest Cowboys player ever or whateve he tried to claim recently.
I don't even know how to console you on this one. That's rough.
That's borderline gloating. I'm not sure I can allow this.
All right. If I didn't get to you this week, accept my apologies. I try my best. But feel free to share in the comments. I would say that I hope to get to you next week, but nobody wants to live the #MondayNightmare.