"If Dez has a Dez-type night, I should be fine."
There are a few rules I always have when talking. The first, never ask a woman if she's pregnant. A woman could be on her way to the delivery room and I would never say a word about it until she said something first.
And second, I would never say anything like "If Dez has a Dez-type night, I should fine." Never ever, ever, ever! The moment those words came out of my friend Jason Smith's mouth, I wanted to run around the room and help recapture them to put them back into his mouth. I kind of felt like the Darth Vader-redub in Episode VI where he yelled out, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! " while Palpatine was killing Luke. (And not that this needs to be said, but it now ruins one of the greatest scenes in movie history.)
I mean, right when Jason said it, I just sighed and said to myself, "Dez is (expletive)." As was Jason.
But it looked like the karma gods were going to give Jason a pass after Dez scored on a two-yard touchdown pass to open the scoring. I mean, the Cowboys looked like they were going to carve up the beleaguered Bears defense. However, Bill Callahan is calling the plays for the Cowboys and then Alshon Jeffery happened at the end of the first half. If you paid attention to the game last night, you know how this ends for Jason.
And honestly, is there anything more Dez than coming just short? I mean, it's like Jason missed out advancing in the playoffs by just a few fingers.
For all of you who suffered the Monday Nightmare, there are many of you who did have a good time on Monday night. Besides the Bears fans, of course.
Slept like a baby? You mean you woke up every hour hungry and screaming? Oh, I get what you're doing there, Brad. But this isn't for bragging. This is for people to commiserate. Seriously, let it out here folks, you'll feel a lot better when you do.