If you're a fan of one dimensional coaches named Will Muschamp, who play not to lose instead of playing to win, you'll know the answer. Or if you're a jaded Florida Gator alumnus like me then you'll know that these guys all played quarterback at the University of Florida in 2012. But none of them finished their career as quarterback in Gainesville. It's the Tebow Curse. In fact, Luke Del Rio, our newest starting QB and son of Oakland Raiders coach Jack Del Rio, suffered a knee injury last week as a result of a dirty tackle.
Alas, let's get to this week's ratings...
Moving On Up
The Minnesota Vikings haven't had an electric receiver like Stefon Diggs since Randy Moss's "Straight Cash, Homey" days. Short shorts haven't had such a fashion icon like Diggs since the great Tobias Fünke's "Arrest Development" years. But we're talking stats not shorts. Diggs leads the league in receiving yards and has the second most receiving yards by any second year player through two games in the Super Bowl era. This accounts for his one point bump to 81 OVR. That's not enough. Like Tobias's acting career Diggs deserves better.
If two games are a barometer of a full career, then Carson Wentz is a combination of Tom Brady, John Elway and the Dalai Lama. Ok, maybe just the latter two. But his numbers are scary good. He's the first quarterback to win his first two games and not throw an interception meriting a one point jump to 78 OVR. Motown Philly is back!
Before Christian Slater found a stable role on "Mr. Robot" he couldn't find a real home on television. He was the King of the Canceled Show. Slater's career trajectory reminded me of the path Mike Wallace has taken. The 30-year-old wide receiver is on his fourth team since 2012. Finally, he seems to have found a fit with Joe Flacco and the Baltimore Ravens. So far he's leading the team in touchdowns resulting in a point boost to a 78 OVR.
Moving On Down
Poor Russell Wilson. After Ndamukong Suh accidentally stomped on his ankle things haven't been the same. Wilson's stats are clearly suffering. His completion percentage and passer rating are down. Perhaps, this also has to do with an offensive line that has gone from Brienne of Tarth to Janos Slynt and allowed Wilson to be hit a league-tying 17 times. Wilson drops two points to 89 OVR
Ezekiel Elliott has scored two touchdowns this season. But he's also fumbled twice in just 44 touches. He dipped one point this week to 80 OVR. He isn't Emmitt Smith just yet.
It was Plato who first told us the story of the lost island of Atlantis that sunk in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. In his Dialogues, Plato wrote that Atlantis was "of great and marvelous power." Revis Island is our modern day version of this tale. After Darrelle Revis got torched by A.J. Green and Marquise Goodwin over the last two games, the writing of Plato takes an even more prescient tone. "In a single day and night of misfortune all your warlike men in a body sank into the earth, and the island of Atlantis in like manner disappeared in the depths of the sea." Hence, a two point dive to 89 OVR.
Six bold predictions for Week 3
6. Rex Ryan's on the hot seat, but he has a new offensive coordinator in tow. Look for the Buffalo Bills to find their rushing attack which was number one in the league last year. Tyrod Taylor will exploit an Arizona Cardinals defense that blitzes 42.2% of pass plays this season. LeSean McCoy and Taylor will rush for 100 yards each. Bills win.
5.A little 2015 World Series revenge via different field is in store Sunday when the New York Jets visit the Kansas City Chiefs. Todd Bowles appears to be a smarter game manager than New York Mets manager Terry Collins, so watch for the Jets to continue their aerial assault. Ryan Fitzpatrick goes for 400 yards and four touchdowns. This one's for you Matt Harvey.
4.The last time the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Backers played the heavens opened up and a miracle was witnessed by millions. This time around Saint Aaron Rodgers won't need a Hail Mary to bail the Packers out. He'll simply throw for 300 yards and three touchdowns and his counterpart Matt Stafford will toss three picks.
3. Last year's Odell Beckham Jr. vs. Josh Norman matchup was memorable for everything but for what happened on the field. This go- round around we're going to witness something epic. Beckham will put on a show for the ages pulling down 10 catches for 200 yards. However, Eli Manning will throw three interceptions. Two to Josh Norman. The New York Giants will remain undefeated.
2.Cody Kessler will be the 26th starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns since 1999. That's what geometry nerds call a rhombicuboctahedron. Kessler will pull the upset though against the Miami Dolphins. Watch him defy the current trend of subpar USC quarterbacks and throw for 200 yards and two touchdowns. The Brown will get their first win.
1.Cam Newton, whom I consider a Florida Gator quarterback, is easily one of the best at his position. Yet, what if I told you Sam Bradford has been the better quarterback over the last seven games. Better completion percentage, more passing yards and passer rating. With that in mind, I'm picking the Minnesota Vikings over Carolina Panthers and Bradford continuing his trend of putting up better numbers.