Brown's inability to keep his phone in his locker is a decision he now openly regrets, and it will endure as a cautionary tale for other NFL players. Just kidding, everyone will forget about this in a week.
Still, there is a right way and a wrong way for the professional athlete to operate his social media account. Let's go over some basic dos and don'ts, using some recent examples as a guide.
Do use social media to deliver positive messages to teammates, opponents, coaches, owners, fans, groundskeepers, mascots, dogs.
Do not use social media to randomly criticize a contemporary (especially if that contemporary defeated you in the Super Bowl).
Do use social media to promote fun videos that make that same quarterback human, relatable to the masses.
Do not use social media to let people know what you look like with your shirt off. We get it, you have a hot bod. Let's not pretend we're really explaining our mindset about that day's game to be played in freezing temperatures.
Do use social media to make franchise-shifting personal announcements.
Do not use social media to post an unflattering photo of your husband who happens to be an NFL quarterback who is constant source of scorn.
Do use social media to share video of your owner dancing in the locker room, because there is nothing better than an NFL owner dancing.
Do not use social media to set a bad example for kids who get dragged to the grocery store by their moms.
Do use social media to further the myth of your underdog status, thus ingratiating yourself with fans who see themselves in you.
Do not use social media to constantly post photos of your damn cleats. Confession time: We don't care that much about cleats.
Do use social media to make sure everyone knows you are a 38-year-old man in the gym ... at 4 a.m. ... after a primetime playoff game ... that was played 800 miles away.
Do not use social media to ... actually, just don't use it.
Do use social media to revel in the first win of the season -- even if it came on Christmas Eve.
Do not use social media to show millions of people that you don't know how to sit on a rock wall.
Do use social media to help locate missing local children.
Do use or do not use social media ... ah, you figure it out.